Where Your Shadow Falls
by OstentatiousNature
Summary: After Rin and Haru's break-up, Rin can't get over him. But when Rin is released from the curse, what will Hatori, the memory suppression expert, do to ensure at least one of them has a happy ending...even Rin doesn't remember Haru afterwords...
1. Part 1:Darkness, My Old Friend, Opening

Where Your Shadow Falls

Where Your Shadow Falls

**By: Natilie Sawada**

A RIN-HARU FAN-FIC

**PART ONE: **

Darkness, My Old Friend

OPENING NOTES- Part One:

Hello everyone. Welcome to my new Rin-Haru fan-fic. That was a poem and a song that I though fit perfectly with the first half my story (except for the fact that "Hate Me" is from a guy's point of view (they're supposed to both be from Rin's)). I would like to thank all the sources I got quotes and chapter titles from. I don't own any of them, I'm just borrowing them for my story, so _please_ don't sue me u. Anyway. I hope you enjoy this. I have no clue how long the first part (or all of it, for that matter) will be, but who cares? Also, I am _very, very_ prone to spelling mistakes, so please bear with me u

Well, I'll see you guys later! Enjoy!

Poem: AND I STILL TELL MYSELF I LOVE YOU

By: _Natilie Sawada_ (me )

Song: HATE ME

By: _Blue October_

"_I can't remember the last time I saw your face_

_Or felt your arms around me in a warm embrace_

_I know I was the one who pushed you away_

_But I did it for a reason, okay?_

_We had something special, you and me_

_But aren't some things not meant to be?_

_I did it to protect you, or at least that's what I say_

_I just didn't ever think that I would end this way_

_I know I really hurt you, but please don't cry_

_You know I really love you deep down inside_

_I love you, but that's no excuse for the hell I put you through_

_And at the end of the day I still tell myself I love you_

_It's the whole entire world that hates me and wants me dead_

_And then I turn around and end up hurting you instead_

_Then when I need you most, you're always coming back_

_Whether to catch me when I'm falling, or just to pick up the slack_

_When I would fall asleep at night, I always knew you'd be there the next day_

_And whenever you would kiss me, you never failed to take my breath away_

_You know the reason we can't stay together, even now_

_And yet with each passing day, I want to see you more, somehow_

_I keep replaying it in my head, my words in such an icy tone_

_But I'm scared to wake up, in the middle of the night, and discover I'm alone_

_I hurt you, desert you, and still I wonder why_

_You say when I'm around; you don't need wings to fly_

_But I'm scared to death that I'm going to end up dying all alone_

_And the truth is; all I want is:_

_Just for you to come back home"_

**-****And I Tell Myself I Love You**_ By: Natilie Sawada_

_I have to block out thoughts of you so I don't lose my head  
They crawl in like a cockroach leaving babies in my bed  
Dropping little reels of tape to remind me that I'm alone  
Playing movies in my head that make a porno feel like home  
There's a burning in my pride, a nervous bleeding in my brain  
An ounce of peace is all I want for you. Will you never call again?  
And will you never say you that love me just to put in my face?  
And will you never try to reach me? It is I that wanted space  
_

_Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you  
_

_I'm sober now for three whole months; _

_It's one accomplishment that you helped me with _

_The one thing that always tore us apart is the one thing I won't touch again  
And in a sick way I want to thank you for holding my head up late at night  
While I was busy waging wars on myself, you were trying to stop the fight  
You never doubted my warped opinions on things like suicidal hate  
You made me compliment myself when it was way too hard to take  
So I'll drive so fing far away that I never cross your mind  
And do whatever it takes in your heart to leave me behind_

Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you  
Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

And with a sad heart I say bye to you and wave  
Kicking shadows on the street or every mistake that I had made  
And like a baby boy I never was a man until I saw your blue eyes bright 

_And I held your face in my hand and then fell down yelling:_

"_Make it go away!"  
Just make a smile come back and shine just like is used to be  
And then she whispered "How can you do this to me?"_

Hate me today  
Hate me tomorrow  
Hate me for all the things I didn't do for you

Hate me in ways  
Yeah ways hard to swallow  
Hate me so you can finally see what's good for you

-**Hate Me** By: Blue October


	2. Chapter 1: Bridge Over Troubled Water

Where Your Shadow Falls

Chapter 1: **Bride over Troubled Water**

_"Letting go is the hardest part."_

-**Selena**

"Sensei, why are you so conniving?" Rin heard Haru say. She was peering through the back window of Shigure's house through the bushes so no one would see her. She'd had to see him. She'd just _had_ to.

_Why am I doing this to myself? It's my fault anyway…_

"Because, Haru-kun, it's—"

"You're nature," Haru interrupted, smiling. "Yah, yah." She just couldn't look away.

"Hatsuharu?" She heard that Tohru girl's voice call. "You're tea's ready.

"Oh, thanks Tohru-san," he replied, taking the cup in both hands. Tohru sat down on the opposite side of the table. She couldn't stop staring. A shiver ran through her as she watched the way Haru's throat moved as he sipped the tea. _Stop it,_ she commanded herself.

"Toooooorhuuu!" The childish voice of Momiji sang as he danced into the room, plopping himself down on Tohru's lap.

"Hello, Momiji," she smiled widely at him. Rin readjusted herself outside the windowsill to get a better look.

_How pathetic is this?_ She thought to herself. _Don't think about it. Don't think about it._ Suddenly, her foot caught in a little hole in the ground and she almost lost her balance.

"Ah!" Rin exclaimed as she caught onto the windowsill in enough time. She hung on, motionless, almost horizontal until the sill. This reminded her how much she hated the limbo.

"What was that?" She heard Tohru ask.

"I don't know," Shigure chimed in.

"Very helpful, Gure-nii," Momiji laughed.

"It almost sounded like…" she knew. _It almost sounded like Rin._

"What?" Tohru asked.

"Nothing," Haru replied. Rin sighed in relief. Okay, it was defiantly time to get out of here.

"I'll go check it out." The little boy piped up.

_Ah, crap,_ she thought, increasing the speed of her steps. She heard the door slid open. _Hurry, hurry…_She almost broke out into a run, when:

"Rin? Hey, Rin, wait up." Rin sighed, turning around to see the little bunny rabbit bouncing up behind her. _Crap, crap, crap._

"What do _you_ want?" She said, putting an icy tone in her voice.

"Was it you we heard a minute ago? Why are you lurking outside Gure-nii's house," Momiji asked, smile shinning as always.

"I'm not lurking, little pest." She said and kept walking.

"Then what were ya' doin'? Are you here to see Tohru? Oh, she'd love that!" Momiji babbled and Rin wheeled around, catching his arm and digging her nails into Momiji's arm. She had never really gotten close to the rabbit, but now it was like she was talking to Hiro. "Don't you tell a _soul_ I was here." She could see her menacing expression reflected in his wide eyes.

"Ow! Riiiiin!" Momiji whined. She clutched harder.

"Not a soul." She growled.

"Not even Haru?"

"_Especially_ not Haru."

"Why're you so mean all the time, Rin? I know you've been through a lot, but so have I. And I try to smile, because it makes other people happy. But maybe…" Momiji averted his eyes, "maybe you just don't care anymore." She shoved the boy away, but he caught his footing. She strode away, calling back over a shoulder.

"One peep and you'll be rabbit stew!"

Rin ran through the woods out to the main road. The night was starting to fall. She wasn't going home tonight.

She ended up in the back of an alley, panting from the exertion she had forced on her body in its weak condition. Rin leaned against the brick wall and slid down to a sitting position. Staring at her hands, she saw the red crescent marks her fingernails had made. Not thinking, her mind blank, her lined her fingernails back up with the marks and pressed down as hard as she could, relishing the pain that shot through her arms. She didn't let go for almost a minute, not wanting to let go of the pain…didn't want the thoughts of Haru to return.

"Haru!" Rin screamed to the sky, digging her fingernails into her palm again and again and again. After five minutes, she opened her palms which sent waves of pain once again ebbing through her arms. The red marks littered her palm, but she couldn't see anything but the kanji they resembled.

_Haa-ru_, they spelled.

_No, I won't cry. I promised myself…that I wouldn't…_ she forced herself to blink back the tears.

"Haru," she whispered as the darkness closed in. "Why can't I let you go?"

_"To leave behind…or to be left behind. I wonder which hurts more."_

-**Fruits Basket** Volume 16 _By: Natsuki Takaya_

"Did you find anything, Momiji?" Haru asked as the boy closed the door behind him. Momiji's eyes flickered.

"Nope," he popped the "p" on his lips, blinking slowly.

"It was probably some wild animal traipsing through my yard," Shigure said passively, waving his hand in the air.

"Does anyone here care what the dog thinks?" Kyo asked tiredly from the doorway he had just walked through

"No," everyone answered in unison and then laughed.

"Well, I'm going to turn in then," Yuki said, rising from the table and brushing off his pants.

"Turn into what?" Shigure asked.

"Ha ha ha," Yuki said sarcastically, "very funny, Shigure."

"Who? Me?" Shigure blinked innocently. Yuki ran his hand through his long silver hair.

"I'm not going to deal with this." Yuki muttered as he pushed past Kyo out into the hallway, his footsteps creaking up the stairs.

"For once, the rat's right," Kyo said, turning around and following Yuki.

"There so dull, Gure-nii, how do you live with them," Momiji teased.

"I heard that, ya' damn rabbit!" Kyo shouted from upstairs. Momiji giggled.

"It's not that hard with Tohru around," Shigure said, sighing heavily, "My little flower. Whatever would I do without her?"

"Did someone say my name?" Tohru's head poked around the corner from the kitchen where she had retreated back to when Momiji had left.

"We were just talking about how wonderful a girl you are to have around with such dull people like Kyo and Yuki," Shigure restated dramatically.

"They aren't dull at all," Tohru objected. "Yuki-kun and Kyo-kun are very interesting people."

"Fine, fine," Shigure dismissed the matter. "Haru-kun, you're so quiet all of a sudden."

"Mm?" Haru looked startled; like he had just been woken up from a deep daydream. "Oh, I was just…thinking."

"About what?" Momiji inquired.

"Nothing," Haru muttered non-commitally. Suddenly, a loud honking noise from outside in the driveway made them all jump.

"That sounds like Ha'ri," Momiji exclaimed. "That's too bad," he said, wrapping his arms around Tohru's waist. "I wanted to spend more time with Tohru."

"How about you come over another time, okay?" Tohru suggested.

"Sounds great! As long as it's all right with Gure-nii." The boy looked over at him.

"Of course. Anytime."

"Yay!"

"Goodbye, Hatsuharu," Tohru said, trying to bow with Momiji's arms still around her, and hers around him.

"Goodbye, Tohru-kun. It was very kind of you to have us over. I had a great time."

"Come over again anytime," Shigure said cheerfully. The car horn honked again, and Momiji released Tohru and darted out into the night they'd not realized had fallen calling:

"Coming, Ha'ri!"

"I'd best be going too," Haru said. "Goodbye, Tohru-kun. Goodbye, Sensei. Stay out of trouble."

"Why me?" Shigure whined as Haru exited the house. The night air was cold on his skin, raising goose bumps on his arms. But it felt nice…felt real.

"Come on, Hatsuharu," Hatori's cool voice spoke from the shiny car in the driveway.

"I'd rather walk home. I need some time to think. Besides, it's not _that_ far away." Hatori sighed. He knew it was useless to argue with Haru.

"Have it your way then."

"See you, Haru!" Momiji shouted from the back seat as the car backed out and drove off down the street.

The moon shone brightly as he started off in the direction of home, but as time progressed, clouds started to drift across it, making it darker and darker as he went. But the time he was five blocks from home, he almost couldn't see his feet. But he wasn't thinking about that.

_Was that you, Rin?_ He thought, looking up at the sky. _Why were you there tonight?_ His thoughts carried him the rest of the way home. He stepped onto his front porch, slipping the sliver key from his pocket and unlocking to door with a click.

"Dad! Mom! I'm home!" He called. Silence answered him. Oh yah. His dad was on a business trip, and his mom was having a "girl's night out" with her friends. Haru shuffled through the shadowed, silent house to his room. Not even bothering to take off his jewelry or clothes, he sprawled out on his bed, listening to the silence. He drew in a breath and whispered to the pitch dark:

"Well, darkness, my old friend…I guess it's just you and me again tonight."

End of Chapter 1:

Bride over Troubled Water

A/n: I can't resist Rin-Haru! . They're the most fun to write fan-fiction about because they have such a screwed up relationship.

Me: No offense

Haru: None taken

Rin: F you

All right then . Well, I hope to see you next chapter! Bye!

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	3. Chapter 2: Owner of a Lonely Heart

Where Your Shadow Falls

Chapter 2: **Owner of a Lonely Heart**

"_And one day_

_I swear I'll explode_

_And everyone will see my insides_

_They'll see my broken heart_

_See my blood spattered on the walls_

_Spelling out the words:_

"_I __told__ you I loved you too much.""_

-**All You Had to Do**

_By: Natilie Sawada_

"Isuzu?" Kagura's mother called as Rin walked through the door. It was six in the morning. Rin hadn't closed her eyes for one second…hadn't been able to. "Is that you?" Rin didn't answer; just headed straight to her room. She lay down on her bed staring up at the ceiling.

"You know, Rin, you shouldn't be so cold to Mama," Kagura's voice said from her doorway.

"Oh yah?" Rin spat back half-heartedly.

"She took you in. I know that doesn't count for much to you, but she really cares about you, Rin. When you didn't come home last night she was really worried." A flash of pain ripped through Rin.

"Who asked?" Rin shouted, jumping up from the bed. "I never asked for her to take me in! I never asked her to care about me! I didn't fucking _ask_ her to worry about me! I would be better off alone! Everyone else can just _go to hell_!"

"You don't mean that…" Kagura's soft voice stated. "You know it's not true."

"It is too, you stupid little girl! How would you know! You don't know what it's like to be me! No one does! I don't fucking _want_ anyone to care about me!" She shouted.

"It's not really something you can choose, Rin," Kagura's voice had an edge to it now. Pain shot across her face. "You of all people should know that."

_Haru…Haru…_

_No, not now, not now,_

"Go to hell, Kagura!" She shouted, shoving her into the doorframe as the pushed past her into the hallway.

"Isuz—"

"GO TO HELL!" She screamed as she kicked the door open and started running down the street.

_Faster, faster, faster,_ she urged her body, as if if she ran fast enough, she could outrun life. She ran past the streets, ran past the parks, ran past the schools…past the main gate of the Sohma estate. She started to run again, after slowing down marginally, but…

"Rin?" The low, husky voice asked that made her skid to a halt.

_Oh, God, not now. Not now…_

"Rin, what are you doing here?"

"Go away, Haru," she muttered, not turning around. She didn't know if she could look at his face.

"Rin, what's wrong?" She heard him take a step.

"You get anywhere near me, you're _dead_," she threatened. He stopped.

"Talk to me, Rin. Something's wrong. C'mon, love—"

"I'm not your fucking "love", Haru, so back off," Rin hissed.

"Rin, honey—"

"I said _fucking back OFF!_" She screamed, wheeling around. The smack of her palm colliding with his cheek seemed to echo in this quiet street. Haru stared down at his feet, his skin turning red from the impact.

"Rin…Do you really hate me that much?" He asked, still staring down at the pavement. A wave of pain shot through her. Rin suddenly couldn't breathe. _Of course I don't hate you, Haru! Oh, God. Don't cry, don't cry…_

"Don't come near me again, Haru!" She shouted at him as she took off running again.

_Don't come near me. I'll just hurt you…_

"I love you, Haru," she mouthed, not wanting to take the chance he might hear.

_Don't love me back. I'll just hurt you…again…_

_"I am older than I once was_

_And younger than I'll be--_

_That's not unusual._

_No it isn't strange_

_After changes upon changes_

_We are more or less the same__"_

-**The Boxer** _By: Simon and Garfunkel_

Haru did not move for a full minute; motionless; mind reeling.

_Why, Rin? Do you really hate me that much? After everything we've been through together, how can you hate me so much?_

"Haru? So this is where you've gotten off to. I wondered where you'd gone." His mother's voice had a smile in it. Haru plastered a smile on his face so he wouldn't worry her as he turned around.

"I just needed to take a walk, Mom. I'm fine now."

"That's good," she said, "You looked really tired this morning."

"It was…just a bad morning, that's all," he lied. Haru didn't particularly like lying, but he just didn't want his mom to worry.

"All right. How about we go home? I bought some things to make oden." A memory flashed through Haru's mind.

_"Want to try some oden?" He asked. She hesitated for a moment._

_"…I'll try some…" She said uncertainly. "Is it hot?"_

_"Yah, it's hot," he said, holding some out to her._

"Haru?"  
"Oh, yah, sorry. I just zoned out, ya' know?" Haru said, smoothing the hair on the back of his head.

"It's okay," his mom said, smiling. They walked back to the house in silence.

_Have we really changed that much?_ He wondered, kicking a rock on the street. _No. We haven't. We're really pretty much the same as we were before she…_

"Uh, Haru, dear? We're home." Haru looked up. Sure enough, they'd reached the house.

"Sorry. I'm just not all here, today." His mom just smiled, opening the door. Haru followed her in.

"I'll be in the kitchen if you need me, okay?" She called.

"Okay, Mom," he called back, bee-lining for his room. He walked into his bathroom, and examined to mark on his face.

_Why, Rin? What have I done? I know you loved me. I could feel it; see it in your eyes. What happened? I can't see it anymore._

He sat down on his bed, head in his hands. His heart ached more than his face.

"Rin," he whispered, "Why can't I let you go?"

End of Chapter 2:

Owner of a Lonely Heart

A/n: Muah ha ha ha ha! I have no clue what that was for, but oh well. u (lol) Anyway. I know this has all pretty much been fluff so far, but I promise I'll start the plot line next chapter. Please keep reading. And _please_ review. I need some feedback so I know how I can do better Bya

Rin: Fine, don't mention us -.-

Me: Last time I did, you swore at me .

Rin: Shut up .'

Haru: Be nice, Rin

Rin: You shut up too. I KILL YOU ALL!  
Me: O.O

(Bya! See you next chapter (if I survive!) )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	4. Chapter 3: Just Like Blood

Where Your Shadow Falls

Chapter 3: **Just Like Blood**

"_Looking away, too scared to see human remains"_

-** Human Remains** _By: Tom McRae_

She needed to end it. End it all. Soon. She couldn't take much more of this. She had to end it soon.

"Isuzu…Why have you come?" The icy voice sent chills to the deepest part of her soul. She felt the urge to run, like a cowardly insect. She had decided to come back to the main gate that night. She couldn't help it. Rin felt the urge to scream. And most sickeningly of all, she felt the urge to hug the frail figure in the shadows ahead of her. She couldn't speak. Her tongue was frozen in her mouth. Frozen along with her free will…and her heart. "Why do you not speak?" The voice asked.

Again, she couldn't move; couldn't speak.

"Is it because you are unable?" The figure questioned. "Or do you just choose not to answer me?" A breeze fluttered in from the crack beneath the door, rustling her long black hair. "Come here, Isuzu." The voice whispered, and it was like something had taken possession of her body. It unlocked her muscles and forced her legs to walk forward while every fiber of her being was screaming:

_Run! __**Run!**_

She stopped just in front of the shadow.

"That's a good girl. Now why won't you talk to me? Do you really hate me that much?"

"_Rin…Do you really hate me that much?_"

_Oh, God, anytime but now._

Long fingernails scraped the length of her eye to her collar bone.

"Akito, please—" she choked.

"Ah, so now you talk? Interesting," Akito said. "Why did you come here, Isuzu?" Akito turned her back to Rin. "I ask you once more. Why have you come?" She looked over her shoulder at Rin. Rin couldn't talk again. Maybe this hadn't been such a good idea after all. "You should answer," Akito hissed, "…when a _God_ asks you a question!" A hand lashed out and struck Rin to the floor with more force than you'd guess possible from such a frail looking person.

"A-Akito—"

"Do not beg for mercy, you disgusting girl, when you deserve none." Akito stood over her, glaring down at her; eyes boring holes into her soul.

"I—"

"Answer me, Isuzu!" Akito cried, raising her hand to strike Rin once more.

"I don't know!" Rin choked out. Akito's hand stopped in mid-air. She dropped it to her side.

"You don't know?" Akito's voice was frighteningly quiet. "You don't know why you have come to speak with me? They why come at all?!" A sharp pain exploded in Rin's side along with her face.

"I—I—" Akito grabbed a fistful of Rin's hair. She cried out as Akito dragged her to her feet by it.

"Spit it out!"  
"I wanted to know!" She cried, her face distorted with pain.

"Know what?" Akito asked quietly. Rin opened her mouth, and then closed it again. Akito yanked on the hair she was still holding.

"AH!" Rin shrieked.

"Know what, Isuzu!"

"I WANTED TO KNOW HOW TO END IT ALL!" Rin screamed, collapsing as Akito released her hair.

"End it?" Akito looked down at her out of the corner of her eye. "You selfish vermin. You think you can just _end it_?" Rin didn't move; she hardly breathed. "There is no end. Forever, remember, little horse? You promised."

Silence enveloped the room. Rin didn't move. She could feel the pain ebbing; flowing through her—just like blood. The blood she cursed…the blood that _was _cursed. The blood that connected Rin to _her_. Akito took a few steps towards the door, but turned around to face her again.

"It's not that simple, girl. You promised you'd stay with me forever, Isuzu. You can't just end it."

She said and walked out of the room, leaving Rin alone as she closed the door hard behind her with an echoing bang and the click of a lock.

"_Listen to the sound of my voice_

_Can you feel the beat of my heart?_

_It's all very simple_

_To see what we need__**"**_

-**Give Us Hope**_ By: James Papoulis_

"Haru! Dinner!" His mom called. Haru blinked. He'd fallen asleep, fully clothed; lights on. He sat up, trying to ignore the pounding headache behind his eyes.

"I'll be right there!" He called half-heartedly, rising up from the bed. His room was chilly, so he dug a black hoodie up from the recesses of his drawer and pulled it on. He drifted out to the dining room where his mother was setting the table.

"Hey, Haru," she said with a smile.

"Hey, Mom," he returned, grabbing some of the silverware from her and placing around the table. "Will Dad be home for dinner?"

"Yes," his mom replied, setting the last of the glasses near the plates. "He should be home from the airport any minute now."

"That's good," Haru commented, sitting down in his chair at the table. "We haven't had a family dinner since he left for that business trip. I'm glad he's back."

"Me too." Just then the door creaked open and they heard someone sneeze.

"Speak of the Devil," Haru muttered, grinning, as his father stepped through the door.

"Hello everyone!"

"Hey, Dad," Haru said from the table. "Welcome home."

"Thanks, Haru. It's great to be home."  
"Welcome home, dear," Haru's mom said as she gave his dad a quick peck on the cheek.

"Hello, honey. Mmm, oden? Smells great!" He exclaimed, setting his briefcase and luggage down and hanging his coat on the hook by the door.

"Do you want to go change while Haru and I serve?" His mom suggested.

"That'd be great, thanks," Haru's dad said, hugging his mother as he walked to his bedroom.

"It's great that Dad's back," Haru stated, helping his mother ladle out the pot of oden she'd brought out.

"It really is, isn't it?" His mother said. Haru was astounded by the look on her face. He'd only seen that look two other instances.

One: When Kyo had looked at Tohru the day they're went swimming at the summer house.

And Two: …when Rin had looked at him after they'd kissed for the first time.

It was the look of pure, unconditional love.

The kind Rin and he had used to share. His first thought after he'd left the hospital after she'd broken up with him had been:

_It doesn't matter. I'll never stop loving her._

But love was supposed to be the best feeling in the world. With rainbows and flowers and chocolate. Love was supposed to be the thing that brought people together, not pushed them away.

_If love is supposed to feel so great…_ Haru thought to himself, _then why does it hurt so much?_

"Haru, are you okay?"

"Hn?" Haru was tugged away from his thoughts. "Oh, yah, I'm fine." His mother gave him a strange look.

"All right." Haru's father strode into the room in casual clothes opposed to the suit and tie he had been wearing when he walked in the door.

"Well, now that everybody's here," he declared, taking his son and his wife in his arms. "Let's eat."

Dinner wolfed down in a companionable silence. All of them were hungry. The conversation drifted onto the events of Haru's father's business trip, and then onto Haru's school life. Haru of course, not wanting to worry his parents, denied there was anything wrong, he just had a lot of work to get through, and asked if he could be excused early.

Haru trekked to his room and sat on his bed at a loss for what to do. It was just too hard to be around his parents and keep up the smile right now. He scanned his room for an activity when his eyes fell across his pile of CDs. He got up and strode over to them, digging through the pile until he found one that he hadn't listened to in a long time.

_Why not?_

He plugged a tangled pair of headphones in to the CD player and hit play. The player stalled for a minute. It was his old model.

He smacked the player and heard it whine, and then stop. He sighed, looking up to the window, watching the clouds pass in front of the moon.

_I wonder where she is right now,_ Haru thought. _I wonder if she can see the moon…_

Haru sighed, hitting play on the CD player once more.

_It's funny how  
Things work out,  
The ones we need  
Don't know we're there  
If I were sand  
And you were oceans,  
The moon would be  
Why you're pulled to me_

I wake up and think dreams are real  
I sleep so I don't have to feel  
The truth that you can never be  
The one person that won't ever forget me

I hope that dreams  
Come when I die  
So we can talk  
I won't wake up  
I'll ask you how  
Your life worked out  
I'll never know  
That I'm just dreaming

I wake up and think dreams are real  
I sleep so I don't have to feel  
The truth that you can never be  
The one person that won't ever forget me

Let me sleep some more...

End of Chapter 3:

Just Like Blood

A/n: All right, so now you know Rin has been sorta kidnapped (?) by Akito…don't quite know how that worked out. But I'll all make it fit, don't you worry . And the song was a big _FORESHADOWING!!_ hint hint so yah. I decided to bring Haru's parents in. It was quite interesting to write about someone not in the manga. I guess you'll be seeing quite a bit more of them. Aaanyway…well, I'll see you next time.

Rin: Why did I have to be kidnapped by Akito?

Me: Cuz ur most scared of him

Rin: Oh, that makes total sense

Haru: superhero cape I'll save you Rin

Me: Not unless I write it!

Haru: falls through the air you're a mean writer, you know that?

Me: flips hair It's a gift

(Bya! See you next chapter)

P.S. The song is _**Dream to Make Believe**_ By: _Armor For Sleep_

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	5. Chapter 4: More Than Skin Deep

Chapter 4: More Than Skin Deep

Chapter 4: **More Than Skin Deep**

"_What moves me is fear_

_That I'll always be alone at the end of the day"_

-**Lullaby**_ By: Armor For Sleep_

"Tori-nii?" Rin opened her eyes a fraction of an inch. His eyes held sadness…as if he'd lost someone dear to him. "Is that you?" She felt something cold moving across her collar bone.

"Try not to speak, Isuzu," the cool voice above her said.

"Where…where am I? What time is it?" She asked, cursing the venerable tone she could hear in her voice.

"It's ten thirty in the morning. You've been out since last night. Isuzu, please don't talk. You're jaw's broken." She could feel a faint tugging around her face. He'd probably loaded her up with pain-killers. Is that why she felt so numb…so empty?

"But—what—?" She tried to ask, and felt a cool hand placed firmly over her mouth.

"I'll tell you what happened later," Hatori whispered in her ear, lowering his voice to the point where it was barely audible. "Since you obviously don't remember." She nodded slightly. Half of her didn't want to know what had happened.

_How many times can they keep putting my body back together like a broken doll?_ She wondered as the tugging continued in her face. _How many times before craft glue won't be able to hold me together anymore?_

An hour passed, and Hatori left with a quick, detached goodbye. His eyes had seemed full of loss, and his actions distracted. Eventually, the drugs he'd given her knocked her out. She'd fought against it, but the drugs had eventually won out, and she drifted into blessed oblivion.

When she awoke, Rin found herself in a cold, dark, wood-paneled room…one that gave her nightmares. She stood up slowly, feeling bandages tighten around her waist as she angled her body. She felt her face. It was also covered in cloth. She guessed the pain killers were still in effect because her entire body felt numb…empty. She almost would have preferred the pain—so she wouldn't have to think about how empty and alone she suddenly felt and why Akito had kept her here. The door creaked open, and Rin wheeled around to see Shigure step in.

"Gure-nii?" She asked breathlessly.

"Hello, Rin," Shigure said, his happy-go-lucky mood seemingly unaffected by the atmosphere.

"Why—how—?" Rin stuttered.

"I was visiting and heard you'd stopped by. So I decided to come and see how you were doing," Shigure's smile held a malicious gleam.

"You know fucking well how I'm doing." Rin spat.

"Feisty as every," Shigure stated. "I'm not surprised. That wasn't the part affected." Rin stared at him.

"What?"

"Haven't you felt it yet?" Shigure asked, his eyes seeming to glow in the dim light.

"Gure-nii, what the hell are you talking about?" She stared at him. He just smiled.

"You're so slow, Rin. Can't you feel it? Deep down inside of you. Something's changed."

"You'd better tell me what the hell you're talking about, or I swear to God—" Shigure continued as if she hadn't spoken.

"Hatori felt it the moment he walked in last night," Shigure said, turning his back to Rin, hands clasped behind his back. "I convinced him to confide in me. And now that I'm here, I can feel it too."

"Shigure…"

"Have you really blocked it out that much, Rin?"

"Dammit, Gure-nii! TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT!!" She shouted. He turned back to her, his expression unchanged by her outburst.

"Rin…"

_"It's not like I really have any memories of it, but God and the zodiac spirits made a promise. I'm sure of it. A long…long time ago. To be together…for eternity…"_

"Can you feel it, Rin? You've been released…"

"_Love seems like a mess  
When it won't let go of me  
But when it's gone I don't feel  
When it's gone I don't feel alive"_

-**Walking at Night, Alone**_ By: Armor For Sleep_

_I wake up and think dreams are real  
I sleep so I don't have to feel  
The truth that you can never be  
The one person that won't ever forget me_

The CD player was set on repeat, so when he woke up the next morning, the sun shining through the window, the song was echoing over and over in his head.

_The one person that won't ever forget me…_

He rolled over and looked at his clock. It was nine o'clock in the morning. Haru groaned. He didn't want to get up, so he just lay there, staring up at the ceiling.

Five minutes later he groaned, getting up off the bed and going downstairs. Walking into the kitchen, Haru decided to get some tea. Spotting the pot already on the stove, he rummaged through the cupboards until he found a mug with the black outline of a horse on it, and poured the steaming tea into it.

Leaning against the counter, Haru took a gulp of tea, not even feeling as it scalded his throat.

_**I'll**__ never forget...Rin…_

"_Rin…Will you kiss me?"_

"_Wh—Why…?" She stuttered, staring at him, wide-eyed._

"_Because I __**like**__ you," he said bluntly._

"_We…We __**can't**__! A—Akito will…get mad…" She warned._

"_But, if you ended up with another guy just because of __**that**__…I wouldn't be able to bear it," he said as she looked down at the floor. "Or would you __**prefer**__ another man?"  
"Of—of course not! I—Haru, I…" She stammered as if she was having difficulty getting the words to form._

"_Do you think I'm pitying you?" He asked._

"_No…no, I don't," she whispered._

_"I like you," he said, reaching his hand out to stroke her cheek. "So I... __**want**__ you, Rin." He leaned in so close he could feel her quickened breathing on his cheeks. "Do you not want me, Rin? Do you not want to be with me?"_

"Haru! Could you come here please?" His mother called. Haru had been so lost in the memory that the sudden jerk into reality almost sent the tea splattering across the kitchen floor.

"What?" He called, having not heard the message.

"Could you come into the dining room for a minute, you father and I need to talk to you."

"Okay, I'll be there in a minute!" Haru quickly dumped the remaining cold tea into the sink, placing the empty mug onto the counter as he walking into the dining room. His parents sat both on one side of the table, anxious looks playing on their faces.

"Haru…"

"Hey, Dad," Haru started to ask, confused, "why aren't you at work?"

"I just got back from a trip. I don't have to go in until tomorrow." His voice sounded weird.

"Oh, okay," Haru said, sitting sinuously on the opposite side of the table from them. He looked back and forth between their faces, feeling as if he were being interrogated. "So…" he started awkwardly, "Wha'd you wanna talk to me about?"

"Well, Haru," his mom said, looking to Haru's father and then back at Haru. "I was putting some laundry in your room this morning after you came down and…"

_How long was I zoned out…?_ Haru wondered.

"…and I didn't mean to snoop, but I spotted something in the corner of your room. It was bright red under a pile of clothes, so I was curious. I didn't remember you owning anything that red."

"Mom, what are you talking about?" Haru asked. She looked over at Haru's father again.

"I…found this in your room," she said quietly, pulling out from under the table a blood-red lace bra. Haru stared at it for a minute.

_That's __**Rin's**__ bra…_

"Could you explain what it was doing in your room?" Haru wondered if he should tell them the truth. And if not, how would he explain this?

"I—uh—" He stared.

"There's a tag on the inside," his mother said, her eyes still locked on the undergarment as she flipped over the strap.

Isuzu S.

_Ah, crap_

"Why was Isuzu's bra in your room, Haru?" His mother asked. He could feel her eyes boring into the top of his head as he stared down at it. Again…what should he say?

"Haru…please tell us the truth," his father implored.

"Were you…" his mother started, "Were you and Isuzu sexually involved?" There was no way out of this.

"Yes, okay?" Haru admitted, his knuckles turning white as he clenched his fists in his lap. His mother gave a little gasp. He hated to do this…Haru had never meant for them to find out. And it was all the harder now that it was all over…all over…

"How long has this been going on?" His father asked.

"Since last year. A little after I turned fifteen," Haru said, staring down at the grains in the table. His mother's hand went to her mouth, her eyes wide. "But it's—" Haru could barely choke out the words, "it's all over now."

"Haru…"

Haru jumped up suddenly… a feeling of loss spread through him. Like a candle had been snuffed out. As if a presence had disappeared. What was going on…?

Haru's eyes grew wide. Someone was gone…one of the zodiac. He closed his eyes.

"Haru?" His parents' voices were distant murmurings. He counted them all off…everyone he could feel…

His eyes shot open.

"Haru? What's going on?"

Tears dripped from his eyes.

"Rin's gone…"

End of Chapter 4:

More Than Skin Deep

A/n: So now you know! eeee! I've been wanting to write a fic where someone's curse is broken, but none of the one's I've written has had room for it. But now I do. So…yah

Rin: Free at last, free at last, thank God Almighty, we are free at last!

Me: Cuz of me!

Rin: So what? You wanna go b?

Me: Uh…no thank you

Haru: I'll take you, Rin. puts up fists let's go!

Me: This should be interesting!

(tune in next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	6. Chapter 5:Long Live the Car Crash Hearts

Chapter 5: Long Live the Car Crash Hearts

**Chapter 5: Long Live the Car Crash Hearts**

"_Let's pretend I'm everything you want me to be_

_Complicated breathing_

_You never had the guts just to throw me away_

_Life moves slow_

_When everything's a worse version of what you need"_

-**Lullaby** _By: Armor For Sleep_

"What the fucking hell do you mean?!" Rin shouted.

"Your curse has been broken, Rin. The horse's spirit no longer resides within you. You're _free_."

_But if I'm not the horse…who am I?_ Rin thought, staring down at her hands, her eyes wide in shock. _I've always had a place here. It was torture…it was __**hell**__…but I __**belonged**__. No house was a home; where Akito was…was where home was…but now I'm not so sure. Life is so simple when everything is decided for you. But when you're in control of your life so suddenly…how do you find your way?_

"G-G-Gure-nii…" she spluttered, staring up at him with frightened eyes, "…help me…."

"Shigure? What are you doing in here?" Hatori's smooth voice accompanied the squeak of the opening door. "Isuzu…what's…?" Hatori looked over at the dog standing in the shadows, eyes wide. "You didn't."

"I have no clue what you're talking about," Shigure said innocently. Hatori marched up to Shigure and took him by the collar of his yukata.

"You've ruined everything, you stupid dog! She wasn't supposed to know. Akito ordered her to be put on medication to suppress the realization! _She wasn't supposed to know!_" Rin stared on with uncomprehending eyes. She didn't register…just observed.

"Well you should have told me that before you confided in me," Shigure said.

"You were the one who promised not to tell _anyone_! Least of all _her_!" This was the closest she had ever seen Hatori to shouting. He shook Shigure by the collar. "And who do you think will get blamed for this? Me! You always get away with everything because you're one of Akito's _favorites_!"

"Oh, you _know_ that's not true, Hatori," Shigure said, eerily calm, "Akito _hates_ me."

"You're a liar, Shigure. You've always been. But you've never been a backstabber," Hatori accused.

"Before today, it was never your back that was turned towards the knife," Shigure whispered.

"You son of a bitch!" Hatori shouted, throwing Shigure to the ground and turning to face Rin. She could feel the look still frozen on her face. "Come with me, Isuzu, there's something we have to do." He took her wrist and pulled her out of the still opened door.

"Tori-nii…" she started.

"Don't speak. I have to get you out of here before Akito finds out you know," he said, his eyes scanning the hallway.

"Know what?" Rin asked.

"That you're not one of us anymore."

_...not one of us anymore…_

"But why…?"

"Don't you realize?" Hatori said, looking over his shoulder to meet her gaze, "even if Akito hates you and you hate him, you were part of the zodiac. That was the thing he clung to the most. Now that the threads have started to unravel, he didn't—he won't want to let you go."

"But Tori-nii, I still don't get it," she said, and cried out as they sped around a corner, her shoulder slamming into the wall. He pulled her into a dark room, shutting the door behind them. She could hear his hand fumbling around above them, and suddenly, a naked light bulb flickered on, temporarily blinding her. Hatori's eyes glowed.

"Akito will _kill_ you before he even thinks about letting you go." Hatori turned around, looking through the contents of the shelves. It looked like they were in some sort of medical storage closet. "He knew this would happen. He had a feeling. That's why, when you came yesterday, he made sure you wouldn't leave before the curse lifted. That's why he hurt you so badly. And now that there's nothing left tying you to this family, I urge you to get away."

_Get away…did that mean…?_  
"But if I'm no longer the horse…who am I? Where will I go? I—I don't think I can go out there and face the world like this, Tori-nii. I've been like that so long that I don't know what it feels like to just walk down the street, meet someone in the eye, and think: You're just like me. I don't know how _not_ to be a freak. I don't think I can live like that. Besides…"

_Besides…I don't think I can live without Haru._

"Isuzu, you'll have to. If Akito catches you, either he'll end up killing you or you'll be forced to stay by his side for the rest of your days. Just like Kureno."

"Kureno?" She asked, puzzled. His eyes reflected the light bulb swinging eerily in the cramped space.

"Surely you didn't think you were the first." _Kureno was also…? How could this be happening?_ "I told you things are starting to fall apart."

"I won't go," Rin said firmly, and Hatori looked up at her.

"What?"

"I won't leave. I won't leave him—" Rin pressed a hand over her mouth. _I won't leave Haru behind_.

"You must, Isuzu. I won't let you be hurt."

"I can't," she insisted. His face became an emotionless mask.

"Then I'll have to make you," his cool voice became the edge of a razor blade. It dawned on her.

"Please," she whispered, "please, Tori-nii, no."

"None of the rest of us has the chance to get away. You do, and yet you won't take it. I can't allow that."

"Tori-nii…"

"You said you couldn't live without the curse…not knowing how to be normal. But I bet you wouldn't have that much trouble being normal if you didn't remember being cursed." His face was still an expressionless mask. He stepped forward.

"Please…no, please! Tori-nii!"  
"It'll all be over in a minute or to. You won't feel a thing. Or if you do, you won't remember it." She could see a hint of Akito shining through his eyes. The cunning, powerful dragon taking him over. She could also see the fear in her face; reflected in his eyes.

"Please, Tori-nii. NO!"

_But I never got a chance to tell you I still love you…_

_HARU!!_

"_I'm gonna make it bend and break_

_Say your prayers but let the good times role_

_In case God doesn't show (let the good times role…)_

_I want these words to make things right_

_But it's the wrongs that make the words come to life_

_Who does he think he is?_

_If that's the worst you got, then put your fingers back to the keys"_

-**Thnks Fr th Mmrs**_ By: Fall Out Boy_

Haru ran. Ignoring the protests of he parents, he grabbed his coat from the hook by the front door and sprinted down the street.

_Faster, faster…something's happened to Rin!_

He arrived at the main gates and pushed through them.

"Hatsuharu?" One of the maids asked. He shoved past her; not even registering there was someone there. "How rude!" She exclaimed. Haru didn't hear. He ran inside to the rooms where they had kept Yuki and Kureno when they had been small children, and found Shigure sitting, sprawled out in the hallway, smoking a cigarette. It didn't help that Haru was out of breath. He coughed, pulling the collar of his shirt up over his mouth.

"Oh, sorry, Haru-kun," Shigure said, snuffing out the cigarette on the wooden floor, leaving a burn mark.

"Have—" Haru coughed, "Have you seen Rin?"

"Did you feel it?" Was Shigure's response. Haru only nodded. Shigure just jerked his head left down the hallway. "I'm pretty sure Hatori took her to the medicine closet down the hall."

"Thanks a bunch, Shigure," Haru said, starting to take off again, but halting in his tracks when Shigure uttered his next words in a whisper.

"Maybe if you hurry, you'll get to say goodbye…" Haru looked back, staring wide-eyed at the dog, but he didn't stick around to respond. He took off down the hallway, and wheeled around the corner, almost slamming into the wall. He saw the medicine room, and heard voices inside.

"Please, Tori-nii! NO!"

That was her!

"RIN!" Haru shouted, taking the doorknob in both hands and pulling so hard he wrenched the door of its hinges. The white light emanated from the place where Hatori's palm was sealed over Rin's eyes. Hatori, startled by Haru's appearance, yanked his hand back before the light faded all the way. Instead, it winked out like a snuffed out candle.

"Ha—Hatsuharu…" Hatori stuttered.

"What," Haru panted, "What the hell were you doing to her?"

"I—you—you don't understand. Akito—"

"Fuck Akito," Haru interrupted, kneeling down beside where Rin had collapsed. Her eyes were shut, but he placed her head in his lap. "Rin…Rin…say something, Rin…please. Please wake up. Rin, Rin!"  
"It takes a while to wake up after memory suppression."

_...after memory suppression…_ Haru started up at Hatori, his eyes as big as saucers before they narrowed into slits of rage.

"You didn't…"

"Hatsuharu, I—"

"Get the hell out of here," Haru growled, "or I fucking _swear_ I will **KILL YOU**!" Hatori rushed out, slamming the door behind him, leaving Haru and Rin alone in the closet. "Rin…Rin…please, no, please…Rin, honey, wake up. It's me, Haru. Can you hear me? Please wake up." Haru stroked her pale cheek, brushing the stray strands of liquid black hair out of her eyes.

_"It's because I'm __**bad**__! It's my fault!"_

_ "H—Haru…Haru…thank you…"_

_ "I'll try some…Is it hot?"_

_ "You have an interesting logic, Haru…"_

"Rin, honey, please wake up," Haru pleaded, continuing to stroke her face. "Please wake up…"

_And please remember me…_

"Wh—what…?" A frail voice croaked. Haru looked down. Rin's eyes were open a fraction of an inch; staring up at him.

"Oh, Rin, you're alive!" Haru said, his thumb rubbing across her face. "You're alive!" Relief washed over him. But then something seemed horribly wrong. Haru looked down at Rin…into her eyes.

_The truth that you can never be  
The one person that won't ever forget me_

"Who—" Rin whispered. "Who are you?"

End of Chapter 5:

Long Live the Car Crash Hearts

A/n: OMG! YAAAAY! (that's all I have to say for this chapter except:) Thank you _Fall Out Boy_ for writing the awesome song _Thriller_ from which I sorta stole the title for this chapter

Me: I LUV U GUYS!!

Rin: Why did you have to make me forget Haru!? TT

Me: Because it's part of the plot line! Deal with it.

Haru: You're evil, you know that?

Me: It makes life more fun!

( See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!

End of Part 1:

Darkness, My Old Friend

**PART TWO WILL BE UP SHORTLY, SO PLEASE COME BACK FOR THAT! **


	7. Part 2: Forget Me Not: Opening Notes

PART Two:

**PART Two:**

Forget Me Not

OPENING NOTES- Part Two:

Welcome back! Now starting Part Two of: Where Your Shadow Falls: Forget Me Not. I'm so happy with the way this story is turning out. It is sooooo much fun to write And I hope you readers are having as much fun reading it as I am writing it

Rin: I'm sure not havin' fun! I got my memory erased!

Haru: And now the girl I'm in love with pretty much doesn't exist anymore.

Me: u yah. Sorry about that. But it's the story, so deal with it.

Here are two songs that I felt went with this part (Can't figure out what point of view they're from though…you can figure it out have fun with that.

All right, have fun reading part two!

Song 1: BURY MY LOVELY

By: _Tom McRae_

Song 2: HUMAN REMAINS

By: _October Project_

"_Cover the mirror  
Hide in your dreams  
Forget what they told you  
Forget what it means  
A picture worth a thousand lies  
The memory and the mirror  
Nothing but what came before  
Nothing but a closing door_

PRE-CHORUS:  
A picture worth a thousand lies  
A thousand words  
A thousand eyes

CHORUS:  
Bury my lovely  
Hide in your room  
Bury my lovely  
Forget me soon  
Forget me  
Forget me now  
Forget me not

Cover the madness  
Cover the fear  
No one will ever  
Know you were here  
A figure in the hallway light  
Returning like a ghost  
Something that was left behind  
Something in a child's mind

PRE-CHORUS  
CHORUS

Bury my lovely  
Bury the lies  
Bury me under  
A thousand good-byes

A shadow from another time  
Is waiting in the night  
Something happened long ago  
Something that will not let go  


_CHORUS"_

**-****Bury My Lovely**_ By: October Project_

"_The picture is burned at the edge  
And you're looking away  
Looking for what's next  
And strange how through time we look the same  
Your eyes and mine looking away  
Too scared to see human remains_

And soon enough soon enough  
This will all be a memory  
And soon enough soon enough  
This will fade like the photograph  
Of you and me

Our history is just in our blood  
And history like love is never enough  
And I recognize so much of you  
In these eyes always so blue  
Why always so blue

And soon enough soon enough  
This will all be a memory  
And soon enough soon enough  
This will fade like a photograph

Those things that I've lost and things that I've sold  
This case is now closed the trail has gone cold  
And your sticks all are snakes I throw them aside  
They twist 'til they break but they never die  
This is not enough this is not enough  
This is not enough this is not enough for me  
This is not enough this is not enough  
This is not enough for any of us to be

The picture is burned at the edge  
And you're looking away looking for what's next  
Tell me what's next"

-**Human Remains**By: Tom McRae


	8. Chapter 6: Flowers for a Girl

Chapter 6: Flowers for a Girl

Chapter 6: **Flowers for a Girl**

"…_gonna change my name_  
_maybe you'll leave the light on  
just in case I like the dancing  
I can remember where I come from"_

- **Mother** _By: Tori Amos_

"Who—Who are you?" She whispered, staring up at the unfamiliar boy holding her head. "What are you doing?"

"Rin?" He asked in a soft voice, a confused expression frozen on his face.

"Rin? Who's Rin? My name is Isuzu." The boy just stared down at her. She sat up, looking around. "Where am I?"

"Rin, how can you not…why do you only remember…?" The boy stuttered.

"I already told you. I'm not Rin. I'm _Isuzu_. And would you mind telling me where I am and who you are?" She said, staring at him.

"I—I'm Haru. Don't you remember me?" He asked, his face looked scared; confused; hopeless.

"I don't think I've ever met you before. Why am I in a closet with you, Haro?"

"Haru," he corrected his eyes full of sadness, "You're at the Sohma main estate. Do you remember that?"

"Yah," she said, getting to her feet and brushing off her black jeans. "Why wouldn't I. I remember everything besides how I got in here with you."

"Do you remember the curse?" Haru asked, barely audible.

"What curse?" She stared down at him like he was crazy.

_Hey, he's really cute,_ she thought to herself.

"Never mind," he said, getting to her feet to stand in front of her.

"How do you know me?" She asked, looking him in the eye. "Why are you here?"

"I—" He stopped for a minute, as if thinking about something. "I don't know if I should tell you." Just then, the door burst open.

"Rin?"

"Why is everyone calling me Rin?!" She exclaimed.

"I'm sorry," the man said.

"Gure-nii?" She asked, blinking at the man standing in the doorway.

"You remember him?" Haru asked incredulously.

"Of course I do," Rin scoffed. "We grew up together."

"That's right, Isuzu," Shigure agreed, catching on. Haru turned to Shigure, his eyes blazing with anger.

"You'd better take me to Hatori _right now_!"

"Tori-nii?" She said, looking at Haru, before turning to Shigure. "How does he know Tori-nii?"

"Yes, yes, all in good time," Shigure said passively.

"I'm not kidding, Sensei. _Now!_" Haru growled.

"Jeez, calm down, kiddo," Rin said, giving Haru a weird look. He looked over at Shigure, eyes frightened.

"Sensei…how can this be possible," Haru's voice was only a whisper.

"Ha," Shigure chuckled, "Ha'ri messed up!" Haru's eye grew wide.

"What did Tori-nii mess up on?" Rin asked. Why wasn't anyone explaining anything to her? It was all so confusing. Like they were speaking a different language.

"R—Isuzu," Shigure started, correcting himself, "Would you go on home to Kagura's? Haru and I need to talk about some things." Rin gave him a strange look.

"Okay…"

"That's a good girl," Shigure said, placing his hand on her shoulder and griping slightly. "I'll see you around."

"All right," Rin said, stepping out of the closet. "Bye Gure-nii!"

"Goodbye, Isuzu," she heard him call as she shut the door behind her.

_Well that was weird,_ Rin thought, walking through the halls to the front door. She strode through it, out into the gardens. It was late spring, so the flowers were just beginning to bloom.

"Hello, Isuzu," one of the maids called. She had always thought they were so friendly.

"Hello," she called back. "Nice day isn't it?" For some reason, the maid looked taken aback by her response. She just shrugged it off.

_Everyone's acting a bit strange today…Oh well. I wonder what Kagura's mom is making for dinner. Mmm…I hope its oden…_

_"__Want to try some oden?" A half forgotten voice from a long ago dream echoed in her head._

_"…I'll try some…" She heard her own voice say. "Is it hot?"_

_"Yah, it's hot," the other voice said._

Rin steadied herself against a garden wall, her hand pressed to her forehead.

_What was that?_ She wondered. She started walking again, trying not to think about all the things that had happened today that didn't quite add up. _Oh, well,_

She took her time, skimming her hands across the tops of the flower boxes. When she reached a box of light purple flowers that caught her eye, she stopped, bending over to smell them.

"Mmm, these smell really nice," she commented to herself. Rin looked around. Finding no one was watching her; she plucked two of the small flowers and carried them in her hand.

Rin walked slowly down the streets, taking the time to enjoy the warming effect the sun's rays had on her skin.

_Oh! Now I remember what these are called,_ she thought, smiling to herself as she looked down into her hand at the two small, fragile flowers she carried. _Forget Me Nots…_

"_Long live the car crash hearts_

_Cry on the couch where the poets come to life_

_Fix me in forty-five"_

- **Thriller** _By: Fall Out Boy_

"Goodbye, Isuzu," Shigure called as Rin shut the door behind her. Suddenly, Haru had him by the collar.

"You'd better tell me what the hell is going on here," Haru growled.

"I really have no more clue than you do. And would everyone stop taking me by the collar and shouting at me? Seriously," Shigure said playfully.

"I'm not kidding, Sensei. You'd better tell me what happened if you don't want your face to go through that wall."

"I _told_ you, Haru-kun. I'm not the one to ask. You'd better hunt down Haa-san, if you want some answers," he advised.

"Rin—" Haru started.

"Haru-kun…Rin doesn't exist anymore. All the memories that made her Rin…they're gone. I'm not exactly sure what she remembers and what she doesn't, but it's obvious the procedure wasn't completed, so some of the last things Haa-san was trying to erase weren't. But I'm not sure. Again, you should probably go ask Mr. Hypnosis himself. I think he's probably cowering in his office."

Without responding, Haru wrenched the door to the closet open and took off down the halls, veering around corners.

"_Haru-kun…Rin doesn't exist anymore."_

No. Haru shook his head. Certainly that wasn't true. She had to be in there somewhere. Underneath all the false memories …the real ones had to be there somewhere…right? Haru reached Hatori's office (on the other side of the estate) in five minutes flat. He burst through the door, causing all the patients and nurses in the lobby to turn their heads toward him.

"H—Hatori," Haru gasped, out of breath, "I need to see Hatori."  
"Do you have an appointment with Dr. So—" one of the nurses started to ask before Haru cut her off.

"I don't need a frickin' appointment. This is important. I need to see him _now_." Haru snarled.

"I—I'm sorry, but it is protocol that all patients must have an appoi—" The nurse began. Haru could see she was afraid of him. He was so close to turning into Black Haru it wasn't even funny.

"Fuck protocol," Haru growled, causing a mother to put her hands over her daughter's ears. "I need to see him _now_!"

"Young man, I'm sorry, but—"

"I know you're in there, Hatori! Come out here, you chicken! Stop hiding behind your pretty nurses. Come out or I swear to God I will kick your door down and beat the answers out of you! **What the hell did you do to Rin?!**" A long silence stretched before Haru started to walk swiftly towards the door to Hatori's office. He was about to kick the door in, when it swung open and Hatori appeared in the doorway.

"I would have appreciated it if you had not disturbed my work place," Hatori's voice was low and stern.

"I would have appreciated it if you had not erased Rin's life." Haru shot back at him. Black Haru was on the verge of breaking through. Hatori just looked him up and down, sighed, and stood aside to let Haru into his office.

Once they were seated on either side of the desk, Haru staring at Hatori intently, he said:

"You'd better tell me every last thing you did, Hatori."

"Why should I do that?" Hatori asked coldly.

"Because if you do, I might consider not smashing your face into this desk." Haru threatened, his eyes darkening.

"Touché," Hatori agreed. He sighed. "I supposed I'd better start from the beginning. As you have already sensed, Isuzu has been released from the curse. She was not the first, of course. Kureno was freed a number of years ago. Akito roped him into deceiving all the rest of you so no one would find out the curse was coming undone."

"Are you serious?" Hatori just stared at Haru. He looked down. "Fine…go ahead."

"Thank you," Hatori said, standing up, and turning to face the window, hands clasped behind his back. "Rin came to see Akito last night. He…had a session with her." Haru's eyes widened. "It was after he left that the curse broke. I was sent in to check on her. The moment I stepped in that room, I could tell she was no longer one of us. Somehow, I stupidly let Shigure convince me I should tell him. Akito ordered that Isuzu be put on drugs to suppress feeling. She herself was not supposed to know. But somehow, Shigure got in and told her."

"That bastard," Haru spat. Hatori continued as if he hadn't said anything.

"I found out, and realized that Akito would realize Isuzu knew of her freedom. It was the same with Kureno. Isuzu would either have to stay by his side or Akito would eventually end up killing her. I couldn't—I wouldn't let that happen. So I took Isuzu to the closet, and tried to convince her to run, since the curse was not holding her back. She refused to leave, something about "I won't leave him.""  
_Him…could that…no. She doesn't love me anymore. Why would she risk her life to stay with me?_

"Anyway, I tried to convince her. She wouldn't see that she had to. I couldn't let her throw away her life when she had the choice to leave. Unlike the rest of us, she had the choice and wouldn't take it. I couldn't accept that." Haru's hands slammed down on the table.

"It was her choice! Why couldn't you just let her do whatever she wanted with her own damn life?!"

"Because…" Hatori's eyes flashed, "It had only been her life for fifteen minutes."

"So you chose for her?" Haru's voice was low and rough.

"Yes. It is better for her this way."

"To not remember anything?!" Haru shouted.

"Oh, she remembers quite a bit, Hatsuharu," Hatori objected, sitting back down in the chair, "You see, the way memory suppression works, is like deleting files from a folder on a computer. It tackles the biggest files, the ones that mean to most to a person, first. Then it goes to the smaller and smaller files until finally all the files you selected have been deleted. Only with memory suppression, they aren't really _deleted_. They're just stored in a hidden, pass-worded folder that is somewhere, concealed on the hard drive."

"So the things about where she lives and what her name is…those were the "files" that didn't mean much to her?"

"I supposed not. But the things that held a central place in her life—the memories of anything related to the curse (and that includes what her parents did to her), for instance—were the first to be tackled, therefore, they were erased before you so rudely interrupted me."

"Why, you—" Haru said standing up.

"Sit down, Hatsuharu," Hatori ordered, "If you wish to know what I think." Haru reluctantly settled back into the chair.

"What do you think, then," Haru spat.

"I believe that since the procedure was interrupted half way through, the files that I did manage to erase were sloppily taken care of, since the pathway between her immediate memory and the place where the suppressed memories were to be stored was still open when the connection was cut off."

"Does that mean that there's a chance her memories might come back?" Haru asked, his heart soaring.

"It depends. From what I could tell, there were only two "file folders" I erased before you came barging in. The two largest ones. The first one, the largest, most meaningful to her, you might not be able to retrieve."

"What do you mean?" Haru asked.

"If you put two packages, all the same size, in a cubby that is only tall enough and wide enough for the package, but twice times as deep, the first one you put in would go the furthest back, correct?"  
"Yah, so?"  
"Then it would be the hardest to retrieve without damaging the other package."

"What if you took out the second package first?" Hatori sighed.

"With memory suppression, it doesn't quite work that way. The package isn't moved from the cubby. If the memory comes back, it makes a copy of the memory and puts in back where they mind can access it. The package is still there, so if you try to forcefully bring the other memory back, it might cause Isuzu considerable pain and psychological trauma."

"And what exactly were the things most important to her?" Haru asked, swallowing hard.

"The second thing—the one I barely erased before you came—were her memories of things concerning the Sohma Curse. And the first thing, the one I completely erased, and the thing, it seemed, was most important to her…were her memories of you."

End of Chapter 6:

Flowers for a Girl

A/n: It was fun to come up with all the technical stuff for memory suppression. I have no clue how that all came together in my mind, but I hope it makes sense to all of you.

Haru: That was sooooo confusing TT

Me: Really?

Rin: You made me _NICE_! TT

Me: Deal with it, Rin

Haru: Don't be mean to her! .

Me: Deal with it, Haru!

( See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	9. Chapter 7: Home is Where the Heart Is

Chapter 7: Home is where the Heart Is

Chapter 7: **Home is Where the Heart Is**

"_It's an event. Big or small. Something that changes us. A new way of living and looking at the world. Letting go of old habits, old memories. What's important is that we never stop believing we can have a new beginning."_

- **Grey's Anatomy** Season 2 Episode 13: _Begin the Begin_

RRIIIING! RRIIIING!

"Kagura! Could you get the phone?" Her mother shouted.

"Sure Mom!" Kagura called back, scrambling up from the table where she was playing solitaire.

RRIIIING!

"Yah, yah, I'm comin'" Kagura mumbled as she picked up the phone. "Hello, this is Kagura speaking," she said into the receiver.

"Kagura, oh thank God you're home," Shigure's voice crackled out of the speaker.

"Shii-chan? What's wrong?" She asked.

"I—um…is Rin home yet?" He questioned.

"Uh, no," she said, looking towards the door, "Why?"

"Well," his sigh came through in a burst of static, "You have to promise not to tell _anyone_ but your mother. _Anyone_."

"Okay…? What's this all about Shii-chan?" She asked.

"Well…Rin had her memories erased earlier today." Kagura went silent. "Kagura….Kagura, are you still there?"

"Yah, sorry, what?"

"Rin's memory got erased by Haa-san."

"Are you serious?" She asked incredulously.

"Would I kid about this kind of thing?"

"I guess not," she admitted, "but why?"

"It's a long story, and I don't think I should tell you it all. All you need to know is that it didn't quite go as planned, but she doesn't remember anything about the curse. She remembers everything else though…you, your mother, all of us—oh, she doesn't know we call her Rin. She thinks her name is just Isuzu."

"All right…"

"I know this is a lot to handle, but if you wouldn't mind explaining this to your mother before Rin gets home, that would be great. Just act as if everything she says is perfectly normal, okay? And act friendly with her. According to her new life, you two have been friends ever since she's moved in."

"O-okay…I'll try," Kagura said doubtfully.

"Oh, and one more thing…"

"Yea?"  
"She doesn't remember Haru."

"Why just Haru?" Kagura asked, puzzled.

"Beats me," Shigure said, "But for some reason, he's the only one of us she doesn't remember."

"That's strange."

"Yes…I think it has something to do with her connection to him."

"Her…wait, what about her and Haru?" Kagura asked,

"Nothing. Just tell your mother, please, and bear with it until Hatori and I come over and get her."

"All right, Shii-chan."

"That's a good girl," Shigure praised, "I'll see you soon, Kagura. Bye,"  
"Bye," she said, hanging the phone up in a daze. Kagura walked into the other room, trying to work it all out in her brain.

"Hey, Mom, that was Shii-chan," Kagura called, walking through the house to her mother's bedroom.

"Really? What did he have to say?" She asked. Kagura came and sat down beside her mother on the bed, putting a hand on her shoulders.

"There's something we have to talk about."

"Kagura, I'm home!" Rin called, walking through the front door. Kagura suddenly popped around the corner.

"Welcome home, Isuzu!" Kagura exclaimed.

"Hi! Thanks," Rin said, stepping over the threshold and bending down to unzip her black boots.

"Where you been?" Kagura asked. Her voice sounded weird to Rin.

"At the main estate. It—" she slipped off her boots and straightened, giving Kagura a crooked smile. "It's been a weird day."

"You can say that again," Kagura agreed. Rin observed Kagura was studying her.

"Are you okay?" Rin asked.

"Hn? Oh, yah, like you said, it's been a weird day." Rin smiled again.

"Girls! Dinner's almost ready!" Kagura's mom called.

"Coming!" Rin called back, looking over at the other girl standing next to her. "C'mon Kagura." She took the girl's arm, linking hers through it, and walked into the dinning room, smiling to beat the bands.

"Welcome home, Isuzu," Kagura's mother said, the same strange expression on her face. Rin shrugged it off.

"Thanks, it's good to be home. What's for dinner tonight?"

"Curry," was the short reply.

"Oh, okay," Rin said, sitting down in the chair at the end of the table. Once they were all seated, Kagura's mom stared serving large portions of the steaming curry. "Mm looks great," Rin praised, taking a large mouthful. Her eyes lit up. "Tastes great too."

"Why thank you," Kagura's mother answered with a smile. "Kagura, do you like it."

"Yah," Kagura said, "did you try something new with it?"

"Sure did! I added a little bit more chili powder and voila!"

"You should make it like this more often. It tastes even better than usual this way!" Rin commended.

"Well, I'm glad you both like it. It's so great to have us all at the table together." She said. There was still something weird about the way they were smiling and looking at her. Rin just couldn't figure it out. Ah well, after all she'd said it herself: It had been a weird day. After Rin finished her dinner, she leaned back in her chair, her hips all the way at the edge, and placed her hands behind her head, staring up at the ceiling.

"Ahh," she sighed, "It's great to be home."

"_And what happens next? What happens if you die when you're not in the real world? Where does your soul go?"_

- **A Wizard Abroad** _By: Diane Duane_

"Me?" Haru asked, not daring to believe the words. "Is that why she doesn't remember me? Because I meant a lot to her?"

"Not just a lot, Hatsuharu," Hatori said, "The most. Of all her memories, of everyone, you were the most important."

"Then why…" _Why did she hurt me so badly…?_

"Well there's no use contemplating it now. The Rin you knew is gone."  
"But it's still the same person," Haru argued.

"In a sense. She has the same eyes and hair and skin, yes."

"But she still has the same _heart_; same _soul_. No matter what memories are in her head, deep down, she has the same soul…right?" Hatori just shrugged.

"It all depends on what you believe. On what your definition of a "soul" is."  
"But her memories aren't what make Rin _Rin_ are they? I mean, no matter what changed inside her head, there has to be some small part of "Rin" that still exists."

"Like I said, it all just depends on who you are and what you think. It is a highly controversial subject." Haru didn't speak for a whole minute, his mind churning. Suddenly he stood up, turning his back on Hatori, but stopping at the doorway. Without turning around, Haru tossed back the words:

"Just because you spilled your guts doesn't mean you're off the hook, you bastard." Haru strode through the lobby, banging open the door and striding out into the yard outside the office.

Running down the street all the facts that had been crammed into his brain whirled around and around in his head.

_"…if you try to forcefully bring the other memory back, it might cause Isuzu considerable pain and psychological trauma." _

"_Of all her memories, of everyone, you were the most important."_

_Why, Rin. If you still loved me so much, why did you hurt me so badly? It just doesn't make sense…_ Suddenly, tears welled in Haru's eyes as he realized he'd never get a chance to ask her why she'd done what she'd done.

"_The Rin you knew is gone…"_

"That can't be true," Haru said to himself, "No one can just disappear…can they?"

_Can someone just vanish one day? With a snap of one's fingers can someone just not exist?_

"Haru?" The call came as he walked through the door, hanging his coat on the hanger with slow, measured movements.

"Yah, I'm back," Haru said softly.

"We weren't finished talking, young man," his father said sternly.

"I know," Haru's tone was submissive.

"Sit back down here and talk to us," he commanded.

"Okay."

"Now, what was this all about?" Haru's mother asked. "You and Isuzu—"

"Her name is Rin!" Haru shouted, banging his fists on the table. He saw his mother jump at the sudden mood swing. "Her name is _Rin_! "Isuzu" isn't real! It's her mask she puts on to keep the world away from her! Her…her name…." Haru stumbled on the words, trying to blink back the tears, "Her name was Rin…"

"Oh, Haru, what happened?" His mother asked, skirting the table to walk around it to put her arms loosely around his shoulders.

"She's gone, Mom," Haru said, staring at the palms of his hands. "Rin doesn't exist anymore." His mother gasped.

"She's dead?!" She exclaimed.

"No, Mom, she's not dead," Haru argued, "Worse. Tori-nii… Tori-nii erased her memories. She's not in there anymore…when I look into her eyes..."Rin" is gone."

"Oh, Haru,"

"I _loved_ her! I fucking _loved_ her!" Haru shouted, not caring about his language anymore. "And…now…" he started again, "It hurt so badly when she left me, when she said she didn't love me anymore…but she was still there, I could see her everyday if I wanted to. She was still there; behind her eyes, I could see her. But now…I don't know the girl who lives behind those eyes anymore… I look into her eyes and I don't recognize what I see… Rin…"

_Where did her soul go?_ Haru wondered, _If it's not behind her eyes anymore…?_

End of Chapter 7:

Home is Where the Heart Is

A/n: Awww…so sad, Haru…but why does he keep spilling everything to his parents? Hmmm… I guess it just ends up that way…oh well.

And Rin…well, obviously she's not Rin anymore. Yikes, a Furuba without Rin…scaaary

Rin: Hey, I'm still here in your author's notes, b

Me: --x I would really appreciate it if you didn't call me that.

Rin: Deal with it!

Me: sigh why do I even let you in these things

Haru: because if you don't… pounds fist into palm

Me: u yikes!

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	10. Chapter 8: Just Beyond My Reach

Chapter 8: Just Beyond My Reach

Chapter 8: **Just Beyond My Reach**

_"Were you there? There were people watching me. Lots of people? I can't see them. Only Akito."_

_"Only Akito," he agreed, cringing inwardly at the thought of his last contact with her. "But I saw you. I was six. You were--" __Beautiful.__ "--eight.""_

-**History, Like Love**_ By: Ysabet McFarlane_

"Well," Rin said, stretching like a cat on the sofa in the living room where she'd been watching TV, "I think I'm going to go to bed. Good night, everyone."  
"Goodnight, Isuzu," Kagura's mother called.

"Goodnight R—Isuzu!" Kagura also called. Rin walked to her bedroom, flopping down on her bed.

_Ah, it feels good to lie down…_ Rin thought, flicking on the lamp beside her bed. Pulling a magazine out from a drawer in her beside table. It was a magazine about the latest gothic fashion. Rin didn't really go for the make-up with the excessive eyeliner and eye shadow, but she absolutely adored the clothing.

Suddenly a flash of blinding darkness enveloped her. She heard bells jingling. She saw a flicker of small feet floating across a hardwood floor. Robes rustled and whooshed as the dancer moved gracefully. Long, trailing black hair followed like a second shadow. Authoritative eye watched every movement; picked up every detail. _Graceful…_ the dancing seemed to whisper… _I am graceful and __**powerful**_. The soft wind pipes fluttered like a horse's main whipping in a strong breeze. A little boy with strange hair watched…the dancer unaware. She was dancing for one pair of eye only. Bells kept jingling. Like her name…_Isuzu_…

Rin jolted up, breathing hard.

_What was that?_ Rin thought to herself. _Who was that little girl…and that little boy with the strange hair? And __**who was**__ that child with the God-like eyes…? And why did I see that?_

She concentrated hard, but the image seemed to be slipping back from where it came from.

_No! What was that?! I want to figure it out!_ She thought. _First the voices of the little girl and boy talking about oden earlier today, and now this…What's going on here?_

Rin lay for five minutes, doing nothing but willing another image—another movie clip to start playing in her mind. After nothing happened, Rin sighed heavily, turning back to her magazine.

She was studying an outfit from the magazine. It was a cute skirt t-shirt combo. The miniskirt was a blood-red silk material with black lace netting over it, extending about an inch further down the legs than red. The shirt was a black base with a single roughly sketched red rose. The model wore black lace gloves and a large cross necklace. To complete the ensemble, she had on a pair of mid-thigh length black boots with silver rings holding them together on the outsides of her legs.

_I think I have some stuff in my closet I could do this sort of thing with…_ Rin thought, her mind reeling.

Another flash. It hurt, like something was inside her mind trying to tug a piece of brain tissue around. She ignored the pain.

_Yes!_ was Rin's last thought before she was thrown into the moment.

There was a little girl jump roping. The little boy with the strange white hair was there too. They were talking, and the little girl with the long black hair was smiling at him.

_"You know…it's like I never get to play with you anymore,"_ the little girl said, continuing her jump roping. The little boy's head just bobbed up and down, watching her jump.

_"I know,"_ the boy said smiling. The girl put down her jump rope and abruptly walked over, around to his back and began petting his hair. _"Rin," _There was that name again, _"What are you doing?"_

_"You're hair is so soft and white…"_ she said, fingering the strands. Rin could almost feel it sliding between her fingers. _"Like a blanket of snow…I love it!"_ the girl poked her head around his shoulder to see his face. The expression it held was a blank confused look. The little girl's laugh sounded like a tinkling bell. _"Aww that expression is sooo cute, Ha—"_

"Isuzu, are you okay?" She was suddenly thrown back into her bedroom. Kagura was standing at the door.

"Huh?" was all Rin could utter.

"You looked like you were in a trance or something," Kagura said, a concerned expression on her face.

"Ah, no I was just…" _I don't want to worry Kagura,_ "I was just zoning out, that's all.

"Oh, okay," Kagura took a step away from her door, but then took a step back, "Are you _sure_ you're okay?"

"Yes," Rin laughed, "Go to bed, Kagura."

"Are you absolutely, positively su—" Kagura was cut off as a pillow hit her in the head. "Hey! That's cheating!" Kagura exclaimed.

"It's not cheating if there are no rules," Rin shot back. Kagura just laughed.

"Good night, Isuzu."

"Good night, Kagura."

_What was that little girl about to say when Kagura walked in? She was going to say the name of that little boy…who was he? It started with "Ha"…_

Rin took out her sketch pad from the drawer and a pen from the table, clicking it. She began drawing the hiragana letter for "Ha" and then moved on to katakana. She doodled the characters in all different styles and sizes. It came so naturally for her…as if this had been her favorite character all her life. But there was no one she knew whose name started with "Ha"

Rin's eyes widened.

…except…

_"I—I'm Haru. Don't you remember me?"_

"_I wanted to be happy. And I wanted to make someone else happy. That was all. So where did I go wrong?__**"**_

-**Kare Kano Vol. 9**

_By: Masumi Tsuda_

"Haru? What are you doing here?" Yuki asked, as Haru walked through the back door the next morning, uninvited.

"I need someone to talk to," Haru muttered, sitting down at the kotatsu, not meeting Yuki's eyes.

"Well, you know I'm always here for you, Haru," Yuki said. Haru looked up into his sparkling purple eyes.

"I—um…" Haru started, looking around the room, "Is anyone else here?"

"No," Yuki stated, "Kyo went to the dojo, Ms. Honda went shopping, and Shigure—"

"I know where Shigure is," Haru muttered, "But that's not important. It's just…I want as few people to know as possible."

"What is it, Haru?"

"I—you have to promise not to tell _anyone_. Not Tohru-kun, especially not Akito! You can't let him know you know!" Haru's voice held an edge of hysteria.

"Haru, what's wrong?"

"Rin—it's Rin," Yuki's eyes were suddenly alert and focused.

"What about Rin?"  
"She's not one of us anymore…her curse broke two nights ago," Haru explained quietly. Yuki blinked back at him.

"Are you serious?" Haru just stared back. "Does Akito know?"

"Obviously."

"Who else knows?"

"Well, in order of discovery: Hatori, Akito, Shigure, me, my parents, and I'm pretty sure Kagura and her mother know."

"So what does Rin make of all this?" Yuki asked.

"She doesn't remember," Haru said in a low voice.

"What?"  
"Hatori…he…erased her memories."

"What?!"

"Yah, well, I kinda interrupted him in the middle so it didn't quite go as planned. Only two major things were completely suppressed. Everything to do with the curse, including her parents, and…me. I'm the only she doesn't remember."

"Oh, Haru," Yuki said, scooting around the table to lay a comforting hand on Haru's shoulder.

"I tracked down Hatori and made him explain it all to me, and it seems the reason she only doesn't remember me, is…that out of all her memories…the ones of me were the ones she treasure the most…and they are also the ones that, even if her memory does come back, they're the ones that are the most difficult to retrieve."

"But, that doesn't make sense," Yuki interjected. "You said _she_ broke up with _you_, and that she made it clear she didn't love you anymore." Haru looked up from the table, his eyes brimming with confusion and pain.

"That's what's been going through my mind since I found her. If she still loved me, why did she do it?" Haru looked back down at the table, "Why did she hurt me? I just can't figure it out."

"Well," said Yuki, pondering what Haru said, "If what I understand of how the brain stores memories is correct, Hatori's memory suppression pulls apart the neurons connecting them to the part of the brain that accesses memories…kind of like Alzheimer's. After storing away the selected memories, a successful procedure would then loop back the remaining neurons to trick the brain into thinking there was nothing there in the first place…or the human mind would come up with false memories to replace the ones that wouldn't make sense without them. But since it was interrupted, then the loose ends haven't been tied up."

"What are you saying?" Haru asked, still confused.

"If what you and Hatori said is true, then Rin's brain is still not tied back together. This would be like accelerating Alzheimer's significantly. This leaves the chance open that the memories will come back, but those remember memories won't know which loose end to tie themselves onto. This may significantly damage her brain, and cause her to forget other things—worse things…like where she lives, what her name is…maybe, worse case scenario; she might forget how to keep her heart pumping, or how to breathe. That's eventually what kills Alzheimer patients in the end."

"You're saying Rin could **die**?!"

"It's just a theory, Haru. Maybe I'm all wrong about this."

"But it's a possibility," Haru said, standing up.

"Haru, please, don't act on it. That may not be that case at all. In fact, the human brain is extremely adaptable. Rin's mind might figure out a way to hook the loose ends back together itself."  
"I don't want to take that chance, Yuki," Haru stated, his voice low and rough. Haru stood up, heading for the door. "This is worse than just her not remembering me."

"But, Haru, it's not Rin anymore." Haru froze. "It's not Rin whose mind is screwed up. It's Isuzu. She's not _your_ Rin anymore, Haru." Haru looked back at him, his eyes burning.

"But Rin is in there somewhere. If Isuzu dies…so does Rin. And if what you said is right, then she could start having flashbacks."  
"Yes, but—" Yuki started.

"But if she does start remembering, then we could eventually have the missing links all back. We could put her mind back together and sew up all the broken ties. Rin—" Haru paused, "Rin might be able to come back."

"But, Haru, you don't know if that's what Rin wants!" Haru stopped again.

"What do you mean?"

"You know how much pain she was in before. Both physically and emotionally. Do you really want to bring her back to all of that? Don't you think she's happier not remembering any of it?" Yuki asked.

"What about me, then?" Haru shouted. "What about me, Yuki? Am I just supposed to let her go?!"  
"If you really love her," Yuki said quietly, so much so Haru barely caught it.

"G-go to hell," Haru muttered, marching through the paper door and slamming it closed behind him.

End of Chapter 8:

Just Beyond My Reach

A/n: Yikes…Rin might die…

Rin: WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ONE SUFFERING!!

Me: Hey, if you're the heroine of the story, it comes with some catches okay?

Rin: It did not say anything about me possibly dying when I signed the contract for this story

Me: What contract?

Rin: This one pulls it out

Me: flicks out lighter and catches it on fire and I repeat: What contract?

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	11. Chapter 9: Where is Your Boy Tonight?

Chapter 9: Where is Your Boy Tonight

Chapter 9: **Where is Your Boy Tonight? **

"_One night and one more time_

_Thanks for the memories_

_Even though they weren't so great_

_It tastes like you, but sweeter"_

-**Thnks Fr th Mmrs**

_By: Fall Out Boy_

"Good morning, Kagura," Rin said, walking into Kagura's room the next morning to find her lying awake on her bed sketching from a manga book.

"Oh, hi, Isuzu," Kagura said.

"Could I talk to you for a minute?" Rin asked, shifting from one foot to the other uncomfortably.

"Oh, sure," Kagura set her drawing equipment on bedside table and patted the bed beside her. "Come here."

"Well," Rin started, crossing the room and settling on the edge of the bed, "Ever since yesterday afternoon when I came back from the main estate…things have been...well, not normal."

"How so?" Kagura asked.

"I've been having these things…visions, they seem like. I know that sounds crazy, but—"

"Not as crazy as some of the rest of the stuff around here," Kagura muttered to herself.

"What?" Rin asked, confused.

"Oh, nothing," Kagura said passively, "go on, I believe you."

"Well, there have been three of them. The first one was a little girl and boy talking about oden. It sounds so weird trying to explain it."

"It's okay, I'm listening," Kagura encouraged.

"The second one was last night, and there was a girl," Rin's eyes became distant and unfocused; "She was dancing. It was a beautiful dance. She had bells on her robes, and there were people watching, but it seemed as if she was only dancing for the one child…even though they were a child, they seemed like they were in charge. But there was another little boy, with white hair. I know this all sounds crazy, but…"

"No, keep going. What was the third one about?" Kagura asked. Rin sighed, and continued, her mind straining to remember the details.

"This one hurt a lot when it started, but the little black hair girl was in it again. And so was the boy with the white hair. The girl was jump roping and talking to the boy who was just listening. Then she suddenly started stroking his hair. It was weird," Rin exclaimed, "almost like I could feel it on my own fingers. Then the boy said "Rin, what are you doing?""

"Rin? Do you recognize the name?" Kagura's eyes seemed more like she was observing Rin's reaction rather than just curious about the girl.

"Well, when I woke up yesterday in the closet at the main house, I didn't remember how I'd got there, but…there was a boy…he was a little younger than me, but he had the same white hair. He kept calling me Rin." She turned to Kagura abruptly, "Do you think he could be the same boy?"

"Maybe," Kagura said, "Did anything else happen in the last vision?"

"Yah, the little girl was telling the boy how much she loved his hair. Then she saw his expression and said: "Awww, that expression is sooo cute, Ha—" and then you sorta woke me up."

"That's weird."

"So I figured the boy's name from the dream had to start with the character "Ha" right?"

"Right," Kagura agreed. Her eyes seemed a little scared.

"Then I remembered…" Rin paused. Kagura's voice was soft, as if trying not to frighten a wild animal.

"What did you remember, Isuzu?"

"When I woke up, the boy holding me said: "I'm Haru. Don't you remember me?"" Rin said, her voice soft. "My life was so normal…I went to school, I had friends, I lived with you and your mom, I was _happy_…but then yesterday…ever since I woke up in that boy's arms, nothing's been the same. Now I feel like there's something I'm missing. And I—"

"Isuzu?"

My head!" Rin exclaimed, both her hands pressed to either side of her head. She cried out. And then it came:

"_Rin…Will you kiss me?" The white haired boy asked_

"_Wh—Why…?" The black haired girl stuttered with frightened eyes_

"_Because I __**like**__ you," the boy said, staring intently at him_

"_We…We __**can't**__! A—Akito will…get mad…" She warned._

_Who's Akito? _Rin wondered.

"_But, if you ended up with another guy just because of __**that**__…I wouldn't be able to bear it," he said as the girl looked down at the floor. "Or would you __**prefer**__ another man?"  
"Of—of course not! I—Haru, I…" She faltered. _And then Rin heard the words like long forgotten thoughts…the _girl's_ thoughts.

_I like you, Haru…I'm no good without you, Haru…When you're gone, Haru, I'm so uneasy I can't keep myself together. It __**has**__ to be __**you**__, Haru. Leaning on you, relying on you, wanting you, Haru, wanting __**everything**__ about you. My desire increases and increase. Haru…_

"_Do you think I'm pitying you?" The boy asked, interrupting her thoughts_

"_No…no, I don't," she whispered._

_"I like you," he said, reaching his hand out to stroke her cheek. "So I... __**want**__ you, Rin." The boy leaned in closed to the girl's face. _Rin could almost feel his breath on her cheeks. _"Do you not want me, Rin?" The boy asked, "Do you not want to be with me?"_

"ISUZU!" Kagura shouted, shaking Rin's shoulders violently.

"Ka—Kagura?" Rin stammered, blinking at her surroundings.

"Did you see something?" Kagura said an edge in her voice.

"I—uh," Rin hesitated. Kagura shook her shoulders, her eyes fierce.

"Isuzu…_what did you see_."

"A—it was the black haired girl again. And the boy…she—the girl is in love with him. Deeply. She kept saying it in her head…Kagura…? Why did that girl look so much like me? What's going on?

"Isuzu…it's going to be okay…it'll all be okay." Kagura wrapped her arms around Rin, and Rin mirrored her action.

"Kagura…"  
"Shh, Isuzu, it'll all work out."

"But…what's going on with these dreams of the girl that looks like me…and the boy that I woke up with yesterday? Kagura…" Rin whispered weakly, staring up at her, her eyes wide and on there verge of tears, "…what's happening to me?"

_"and now I speak to you _

_are you in there?  
you have her face and her eyes  
but you are not her"_

-**Bells For Her**

_By: Tori Amos_

Haru had to get to Kagura's. He had to get Rin before Shigure or Hatori or…he swallowed…Akito.

_"But, Haru, it's not Rin… It's Isuzu. She's not your Rin anymore, Haru."_

No! Haru shook his head, attempting to banish the thoughts.

_"But Rin is in there somewhere. If Isuzu dies…so does Rin."_

His words had been true.

_Rin is locked up somewhere, trying to get out. I __**have**__ to help her!_

"_Do you really want to bring her back to all of that? Don't you think she's happier not remembering any of it?"_

Pain shot through Haru.

_But…what about the times with just me and her. Despite the pain I caused her, isn't it worth it to remember the times with me and her? For me its worth it. There's no question. I __**have**__ to believe that it's the same for her_.

_"What about me, then? What about me, Yuki? Am I just supposed to let her go?!"_

_"If you really love her…"  
What is that supposed to mean?  
Of course I love you, Rin. You're the most important thing in my life. That's why…that's exactly why…_

Haru knocked sharply on Kagura's door.

"Kagura! Let me in! I need to see her!"

"Haru?" Kagura's startled voice came from inside the house.

"Let me in, Kagura," Haru exclaimed. He heard two pairs of footsteps hurry to the door.

"Go away, Isuzu," he heard Kagura whisper on the other side of the door.

"Why, Kagura? Is that…that's _Haru_ isn't it?" That was Rin's voice…Rin's sweet voice. Only the door separated them.

"Kagura…!" Haru called, a warning in his low tone.

"I don't think I should…Shigure said—"

"I'm pretty sure I know what Shigure said. Isn't it better she knows the truth Kagura?! If it were you, wouldn't you want to know?!"  
"She's happier, you know," Kagura's voice was only barely loud enough to hear through the door.

"But it's not _her_!"

"What are you talking about, Kagura?" Rin's confused voice asked.

"Ri—"

"You shouldn't talk to her, Haru. You've already done enough."

"Kagura! How could you say something like that! You don't know the whole story!" Haru shouted.

"I've been living with her for the past two days, and I can tell. I've _lived_ with her…both ways. I can _tell_ she's happier like this."

"But Kagura—you don't unders—"

"That you were involved? Yah I know."  
"Wait, are you talking about me?" Rin asked.

"No, Isuzu, please, could you just go back to your room while I sort this out?" Haru heard Kagura plea.

"But I—"

"She deserves to know the truth! Rin!" Haru yelled in vain, knowing she wouldn't respond to that name now. He banged on the door with his fists, leaning on it, sagging as he nearly collapsed with hopelessness, "Rin, honey, please! Please remember…please."

Unexpectedly, the door swung inwards to reveal Kagura shoved back into the entry hallway, and Rin standing there with fierce fire in her dark liquid eyes rimmed with tear tracks. Pain shot through Haru.

_She's not behind those eyes anymore…_

"You'd better explain yourself…Haru."

End of Chapter 9:

Where is Your Boy Tonight?

A/n: It's all starting to come together

Thank you _Fall Out Boy_ again! I stole the title from the song: Grand Theft Autumn. tee hee hee

Rin: sigh this is exhausting

Me: What is?

Rin: Being nice. And since when did I tear up all the time

Me: Since you're memory got erased and you became all nice.

Rin: shrug true

Haru: Is it just me or are my sections getting shorter and shorter.

Me: u yah, sorry about that…

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	12. Chapter 10: Can't Fight for a Graveyard

Chapter 10: Can't Fight for a Graveyard

Chapter 10: **Can't Fight for a Graveyard **

"_To just vanish without warning, without reason…wondering if your very __**existence**__…was nothing but a dream.__**"**_

-**The Dreaming Vol. 1**

_By: Queenie Chan_

"Rin, let me explain—"

"I already told you. My name's not Rin; it's _Isuzu_," Rin interrupted, sighing, standing aside to let Haru in.

"Isuzu, I really don't think—" Kagura began to advise.

"Its okay, Kagura," Rin said, turning around to look her in the eye, "I think we should hear him out. Besides…" she looked Haru up and down, inspecting, "maybe he has some answers."

"I have more than answers," Haru objected, their arms touching briefly as he brushed past her, their eyes locking, "I have the truth."

Once Rin and Haru were seating across the table from each other (Kagura being sent to her room scowling so they could talk in private), Rin started talking.

"Before you say anything, I should let you know, that before you showed up, my life was _completely_ normal. Then, since yesterday, nothing's been the same. I keep having these really bad headaches and flashes of—"

"Flashes?" Haru interrupted.

"Yeah…and I don't even know why I'm talking to you," Rin laughed nervously, "I only met you yesterday. This is _so_ crazy."

"You don't know crazy until you've heard about your screwed up life," Haru muttered bitterly.

"_My_ life? I thought I explained this to you. Before yesterday—"

"Before yesterday," Haru cut her off, "The life you know isn't real." Rin just glared at him.

"What are you saying?" Haru sighed.

"Well, I'd better start at the beginning. Please don't say anything until I'm finished. It will sound crazy at first, but then things will start to add up."

"Okay…" Rin said uncertainly.

"The Sohma family has been cursed for centuries. Twelve members of the family are born possessed by the vengeful spirits of the zodiac animals. Twelve plus one that is born as the "God"; the ruler of them all. In the beginning, all the animals made a promise to stay with God for eternity…no matter how many times they were reborn; the same blood would run through them. When a member of the zodiac is hugged by an un-cursed member of the opposite gender, they transform into their respective animal. But now, after centuries, the curse has started to unravel. Two of us--"

""Us"? Does that mean you?"

"Shh," Haru silenced, "I said don't say anything until I'm done explaining."  
"Fine," Rin huffed.

"Anyway, two of us have already been released. Kureno—the bird, and one of the closest to Akito (God)—was the first. But despite not being tied to him through the curse, couldn't leave him and deceived us all by pretending he was still cursed, and refusing to leave Akito's side."

"And who was the other?" Rin asked, Haru just sighed. "Oops," Rin uttered, her hand to her mouth, "go on."

"The other…was the horse. She was released from the curse only two nights ago."

"Who was the horse?" Rin inquired, real curiosity singing in her eyes. Haru took a deep breath and met her gaze.

"You." Rin gasped.

"M-me?" She squeaked.

"Yup," Haru said, popping the "p" on his lips.

"Is—is that why I saw the dancing?"

"Dancing?" Haru asked.

"I had…a dream of sorts. There was a black haired little girl and she was dancing for a child. It felt like the dance of a horse."

"New Years," Haru muttered.

"What about New Years?" Rin questioned.

"Every New Years, the zodiac animals of the old year and the New Year dance to symbolize the transition—the passing of the year. You danced when you were eight." Rin sat speechless, trying to soak up all of this information.

"I still can't see that little girl as me…it's like I'm looking through someone else's eyes."

"That's because the you you are right now didn't exist until yesterday. Isuzu isn't what you liked to be called. You flinched whenever someone called you that…Rin was your name. But you're not Rin. Rin is somewhere in your head…hidden along with the memories."

"Then…who am I?" Rin asked, staring at her hands. _I didn't exist until yesterday?_

"You are Isuzu," Haru said simply. "You are Rin minus all the traumas in her past."

"How did I forget them all?" Rin asked. Haru's breath caught at the pain in her eyes. The pain of not knowing who she was anymore.

"After your curse broke, Tori-nii found out. Do you remember memory suppression?" Rin shook her head. "Tori-nii can suppress people's memories—it's a skill he learned from his father. From what he told me, he confronted you and told you to get out of there before Akito found out you knew. You refused for some reason," Haru's eyes flickered, "and…Tori-nii erased your memories in hopes you would leave, not remembering the curse or—" Haru swallowed. Rin placed her hand on top of Haru's which lay on the table. Haru almost jerked it back in surprise. When their eyes met, he caught a little flash of Rin. It was there and then gone in a second…but it was there.

"Or you," she whispered.

"_Didn't they teach you?_

_Everything's okay if you settle for enough_

_Forget your dreams_

_Let's pretend I'm everything you want me to be__**"**_

-**Lullaby**

_By: Armor For Sleep_

"I keep seeing flashes of memories…but they seem like someone else's memories. But they all have you in them. It hurts when I remember them, though—like someone is trying to rip them out by force. But we're talking about oden, and then I see you watching me dance. I'm jump roping; we're talking, and then I tell you I love your hair…" Haru's eyes widened.

"You remember all of that?"

"It came back in flashes, like I said…and I remember…we were together…dating…and I remember…" Rin blushed at the memory, "I remember the first time we kissed…I was crying." Haru's hand gripped hers across the table.

"You were crying," he agreed. Suddenly a panicked look crossed his face, "Do you remember anything else about…that sort of thing?" Rin was confused.

"Uh…no…" Haru let out a breath.

"Oh, okay."

"Why?" Rin's eyes became wide, "did we _do_ things?" Haru shifted uncomfortably.

"You could say that…"

"Really? I," Rin looked away, "I thought I was a virgin." Haru snorted,

"Believe me, you're not. Far from it. I can't even remember when I _lost count_ of how many times we—"

"Okay, okay," Rin broke Haru off, putting her hands over her ears, blushing to the ends of her hair. Haru leaned in across the table.

"Is anything coming back?" He asked softly.

"No…" Rin answered inaudibly, "I mean, it all makes sense, but it's still like I'm seeing it through someone else's eyes…they're not _mine_." Haru leaned back.

"Okay."

"Wait—" Rin choked out.

_"I don't need you anymore…"_

"Rin? Rin!" Haru's voice was distant

_"I'm tired of you…Just don't come near me anymore, Haru..."_

"Rin hurt you," Rin whispered, her eyes focusing back on the present. Haru was holding his shoulders in his hands, his scared expression transforming into relief. "She hurt you badly."

"It's okay," Haru comforted, pulling her closer. Tears poured down her cheeks. "Shh,"

"You loved her, didn't you?" Rin asked softly.

"Very much," Haru murmured, his hand making slow circles on her back.

"I'm so sorry…" she said delicately.

"Oh, Rin," Haru said in a soft voice

"I-I'm not Rin…" she whispered. "I'm not your Rin."

"It's okay," he breathed in her ear, "It's okay…because right now… you're all I need."

End of Chapter 10:

Can't Fight for a Graveyard

A/n: Wow, that worked out reeeeally well in my opinion! this story is sooooo much fun to write! (Is stole this title from the song _Lullaby_ By: Armor For Sleep (I'm such a thief) muah ha ha ha

Rin: -- do I ever get me memory back?

Me: oh, like it'd tell you with everyone here reading it

Rin: oh, fine, be that way

Me: fine, maybe I will

Haru: u girls, girls, please don't fight…Part 3 won't get written if you two are still fighting!

Me: yah, there IS A PART 3! DON'T THINK THIS IS THE ENDING!

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!

**END OF PART 2: ****FORGET ME NOT**

**PART THREE WILL BE UP SHORTLY, SO PLEASE TUNE IN THEN! (see ya soon )**


	13. Prt3:Forever is a Long Time to Love:Open

PART three:

**PART three:**

Forever is a Long Time to Love

OPENING NOTES- Part Three:

Hey ppl! huff huff I started writing this story on…looking at file dates… Saturday April 5th, and it is now Wednesday April 9th. As you can see, I am a fast writer or…I just am really into this story. I write about two chapters a day…something like that. But I took a break on this one, so im srry I took a while to get this part posted. Well im not sure if this will be the last part or not…it all depends on how the ending turns out. I have the plot of this story _VAGUELY_ planned out, but im mostly a "fly by the seat of my pants" kinda writer, so bear with me.

But yah, here are more songs I thought went with this part.

Please enjoy the story!

**P.S.** The songs are from Rin/Isuzu's point of view

All right, have fun reading part three!

Song 1: TIME IS STANDING STILL

By: _The All-American Rejects_

Song 3: SOBER

By: _Kelly Clarkson_

"_I don't know_

_This could break my heart or save me_

_Nothin's real_

_Until you let go completely_

_So here I go_

_With all my thoughts I've been saving_

_So here I go_

_With all my fears weighing on me_

_Three months and I'm still sober_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers_

_But I know it's never really over_

_I don't know_

_I could crash and burn but maybe…_

_At the end of this road_

_I might catch a glimpse of me_

_So I won't worry 'bout my timing_

_I wanna get it right_

_No comparing; second guessing_

_No not this time_

_Three months and I'm still breathing_

_Been a long road_

_Since those hands I left my tears in_

_But I know_

_It's never really over, no_

_U-ah….Oh_

_Three months and I'm still standin' here_

_Three months and I'm gettin' better, yeah_

_Three months and I still…Am_

_Three months and it's still harder now_

_Three months I've lived here without you now_

_Three months and_

_Three months I…_

_Three months and I'm still breathing_

_Three months and I still remember it_

_Three months away…Ah_

_Three months and I'm still sober_

_Picked all my weeds but kept the flowers"_

**-****Sober**_ By: Kelly Clarkson_

"_Him and her  
Life is turned.  
The day I knew you would leave  
I can barely breathe  
Can you hear me scream?_

O-o-o thrown in all directions  
You epitome of perfection  
Shes lost her will,  
Time is standing still

He walks, her, home  
Now he walks alone  
The days they turn into years  
The eyes they drown in tears

Can you hear me scream

The way we are; the way they were  
(its just a shadow of whats wrong)  
The time with you; the time is stirred  
(I love you for, so long)  
The hearts they turn; they turn away  
(she says to go please dont you cry)  
Love lost was found; night turns to day

Time is standing still_"_

**-****Time Is Standing Still**_ By: The All-American Rejects_


	14. Chapter 11: White Static

Chapter 11: White Static

Chapter 11: **White Static **

"_The voice of who I used to be_

_Is crying out: "Someone, someone, please!"_

_Please shine a light into the black_

_Wade through the depths and bring me back__**"**_

-**I Need You**

_By: Relient K_

Dear Journal,

It has been eight months since I—Isuzu— was created…figuratively speaking. Eight months since Hatori erased Rin's memories and I was born, although it doesn't seem that way. It doesn't seem like eight months either. It seems like so much longer than that…years. Haru has decided that it would be best if we started living together, so that it might help me remember if I was around him a lot. Haru is a smart kid, so we studied together, and despite him being two years younger than me, we both tested out of the rest of high school. We've got our own apartment, and have started going to college together. Some of the family comes over sometimes to visit us. Mainly it's only Yuki and Shigure, because none of the others knew yet. My flashbacks are a constant stream of movie clips, and they often keep me up at night trying to sort out things.

Last night I had the longest flashback ever. Rin was about fifteen, I think. Or sixteen. Haru was around thirteen or fourteen. I think that's when things between them first began happening.

I'm starting to remember all the good things…and only a couple of the bad things. But no matter what memory I relive…Haru is there for all of it. And he's still here…trying to care for me, while trying to bring Rin back. It seems when Rin lost her memories, it created an entirely new person…me. I'm starting to remember some of the things Rin and Haru did when they were younger.

But I'm scared to remember. I would never tell Haru. He is so nice, and kind. His heart is so big; I don't know how he can keep smiling after what Rin did to him. From what I've heard from Haru, Rin was so flawed, it made him love her more. In my own head, I've pieced together my own image of Rin. She scares me a lot when I think of what kind of damage she could have inflicted on someone as kind as Haru.

In essence, I'm afraid to bring her back into the world. I don't know why. I keep trying to find an explanation for my fear, and the only thing that keeps popping up is…

Haru.

I don't want him to be hurt again. I don't know why I feel so strongly about him. It's probably because he's the one who helped me. He's the only one who was willing to tell me the truth instead of letting me live my life in ignorance. I'm glad he did, but still…I'm afraid to remember. Because I—my conscious; my essence—didn't exist until Rin lost her memories. I am Rin minus all her memories of the curse and Haru. Am I a better person than her, or am I her. Is she in my head somewhere, or am I what's left of her being.

It's at times like these that I cover my head with a pillow so Haru won't hear me scream. I wait until he goes out and I blast some music and scream all my frustration and anger and fear and confusion out.

Because I am so scared.

Because if Rin comes back…what will happen to me?

-Isuzu

_What was bad? Where did I go wrong? Were things…beyond repair from the beginning? Should I have never been born?_

NOK! NOK!

"_Hey," Haru said from the window, "You wanna go for a walk?"_

"_Haru? What is that quote about the roses again? The one you always say when we walk past here?" She said, fingering the silky petals of the red flower._

"_A rose by any other name would smell as sweet."_

"_That's so romantic," she sighed, plucking the rose from the stem and twirling around with it._

"_I think the guy who wrote it was named Skateshear or something like that."_

"_Oh, that guy. I think its Shakespeare though, Haru."_

"_Yah, that's what I meant," he said, still watching her twirling. She grabbed his hands suddenly, and started pulling him around in a circle. _

"_You're so funny, Haru!" She exclaimed. She clasped her hand harder around his, the rose gripped between them. "Ow!" She exclaimed suddenly, dropping his hands and the rose. She opened her palm, and red cuts were dashed across her palm._

"_The rose cut you, Rin," he said, his voice cautious and soft. She felt the pain shoot through her hand, and then the tears started to sting her eyes. "Oh, Rin, it'll be okay." She felt strong arms wrap around her._

_In the back of her mind, she felt embarrassed to be comforted by a fourteen year old…but it was Haru. _

"_H-Haru," she stuttered, "it hurts."  
"I know," he whispered, stroking her hair. He pulled back, and looked into her eyes. "Let me have a look at that hand." She tentatively showed him her hand, and he took it, turning it from side to side. "Those thorns really got you didn't they?"_

"_Mhm," she sniffed. To her surprise, Haru brought her hand up to his lips, and kissed it softly. "Haru?" His lips remained on her hand, his eyes closed._

"_Yah?" He whispered._

"_What are you doing?"  
"Nothing," he muttered, eyes still closed. Rin gasped as she felt a slow lick across the cuts, stinging the slightest bit._

"_Haru! Why are you licking me?" She protested._

"_Because I heard cuts heal faster if you get saliva on them."_

"_That's not true," she protested, but didn't yank her hand back as he took another slow lick. "What are you Dracula now?"_

"_If you want it to be like that," Haru muttered._

"_You know," she said, glaring at him, "For a fourteen year old, you're pretty dirty."_

"_You know you like it," he teased. Rin continued to scowl but made no move to remove her hand from his grasp. The pain slowly receded as he made slow circles on her palm. She closed her eyes, letting the sensation wash over her. This was the first time anything like this had ever happened with Haru._

Isuzu could almost feel his lips on her hand.

_Is that how Haru's lips feel?_ _Haru could be so romantic…so sweet. Rin is such a lucky girl…to have someone like Haru._

"Oh, Haru…" she sighed.

"Isuzu?" She heard the door to the apartment open, and she opened my eyes.

"H-Haru?" Isuzu's voice was shaky.

_Wow…that was the first time I've felt anything like that_

"Where are you? I got some groceries."

"I'm in the bedroom!" She called, picking up her discarded magazine, and flipping through it. She heard Haru set the groceries on the counter and walk to the door. He knocked two times.

"Are you decent?" He asked, always the gentleman. She smiled.

"Wouldn't you like to know," she teased. She heard him sigh.

"Isuzu…"

"Yah, yah, I'm fully clothed," she allowed as the door swung open. Haru strode in; the silver chains hanging from his black jeans clinked softly. Haru had kept the same clothing style, even after starting college.

Isuzu had felt a little insecure with Rin's wardrobe, so she'd gone with clothing that was a little more modest. But she still wore the blacks, reds, and purples that Rin usually wore. And although the outfits weren't as extreme as Rin's, they were still on a far end of the spectrum from normal attire. She felt…more secure when her clothes somewhat matched Haru's. It made her feel as if she had somewhere she belonged.

Haru came and sat on the side of the bed as Isuzu remained sprawled out horizontally.

"How are you doing?" Haru asked softly, laying his hand casually over hers. She had figured gestures like this were out of habit. He was more familiar with Rin's body than Isuzu was and he was used to being intimate with her. It had nothing to do with _her_—Isuzu—she'd reasoned. It was Rin he was trying to get back. Isuzu didn't mean as much to him, and she was fine with that.

"I'm okay. Better now that you're back. I get so bored when you're out."

"Tell you what, next time we'll go shopping together, okay?" He asked.

"Sounds like a plan," she agreed, laughing. Since she had noticed that Haru's face softened every time she smiled, she'd made a habit of smiling as often as possible.

"All right then," he said, getting up, "how about we start dinner?"  
"I'm right behind you."

"_I'll leave the lights down low_

_So she knows_

_I mean business_

_And maybe we can talk this over_

_And you know very well _

_That I can't keep my hands to myself_

_Hands to myself__**"**_

-**Bike Scene**

_By: Taking Back Sunday_

They sat at the table, slowly eating their instant Ramen. Dinner had been a disaster. Haru had bought things to make stir-fry, so they had started to attempt to make it. It turned out that neither of them knew exactly how to make stir-fry. In the end, the botched meal had been thrown out, the only sign to show it had ever happened was a small burn on the counter, one on the floor, and a large hole Isuzu's shirt.

After they had cleaned up, Haru had heated up two cups of Ramen, and Isuzu had gone to change her shirt. Dinner was quiet for the most part. Haru had caught Isuzu sneak glances at him between slurps of Ramen. Finally he spoke up.

"Isuzu, are you okay?" The abrupt words in the silence of the room caused Isuzu to choke on her latest gulp of Ramen and start coughing. "Isuzu? Isuzu!" Haru abruptly jumped up, flipping his chair backwards and rushing around the table.

"I—" she coughed, "I'm okay. Sorry."

"All right," he sighed, kneeling beside the table with a relieved expression. "Thank God."

"Sorry I scared you like that," she apologized.

"I'm just glad you're okay," Haru said.

_Because without you, there's no chance of Rin ever coming back_, Haru thought. For the eight months since Rin had disappeared into the recesses of Isuzu's mind, he had been fascinated with Isuzu's behavior. It was like having the child Rin back. It was like being thrown back into the days filled with sunlight, and when being in love was as easy as breathing. But this wasn't Rin, and Rin was who he was in love with…right?

They had washed the dishes and watched some TV and were getting ready for bed. They each had separate rooms, so Haru was undressing in his own. He had his shirt off, and was unbuckling his belt when suddenly he heard a deafening crash and a high pitched scream from the other room.

"Isuzu?!" He shouted, sprinting to her room. He wrenched open the door to find the drywall of the ceiling had crashed down on the contents of the room. Bits of plaster floated, coating Isuzu's jet black hair like snow.

"H-Haru?" Her frightened eyes peered up at him from under the bed, on top of which the dresser had toppled. "I think I'm stuck." Haru was next to her in an instant, kneeling down to grab the arm that stuck out from under the bed.

"I'll pull you out, it's okay." He tugged on her arm, and she gasped. "What is it?" He asked.

"My hand. I think something cut it," she barely whispered.

"It's okay. Shh. I'll get you out of there," he reassured. He tugged gently, and then Isuzu wriggled out from under the bed. She was wearing nothing but a bra and biking shorts, but Haru had seen her in less than that…as Rin of course, but it was still the same body. Sure enough her hand was bleeding from a large cut on the palm.

"I-I think it was one of the mattress springs." Her voice was shaky; like a candle in a breeze.

"Shh," he said, pulling her to him, but keeping distance between them; he was still cursed, she wasn't. "Let's get you into my room," he said, leading her out the door and into his bedroom.

"W-what about my room?" She asked.

"We'll deal with it tomorrow. You need to calm down. You're shaking," he observed. "But first, let me look at that hand." He took it, turning it from side to side.

"This…this is just like the time when you and Rin were in the rose garden," she whispered. Haru froze.

"What?"

"A rose pricked her on the hand…and you started licking it." Isuzu blushed. Haru remembered. That was what had almost started everything.

"Did you have a flash back?" He asked. She nodded. He looked down at her bleeding hand, and then up at her tear filled eyes; so venerable; so helpless.

Haru didn't know what made him do it. Maybe it was the dim lights in his room…maybe it was the loneliness in him. Maybe it was that it was Rin's body that Isuzu occupied. He didn't know. But something made him bring her palm up to his lips and slowly lick the blood from the cut. The coppery taste of her blood reminded him of that day by the roses. He closed his eyes and let the memory fill him up. He let his mouth move slowly across her hand, and then started to travel up her arm.

His tongue made slow circles on the pressure point at the inside of her elbow, and he let the taste of her fill his senses. He tasted up her arm further and reached her collar bone. Haru was too far gone to think about what he was doing. His mind was screaming: What are you doing! This isn't Rin! But his senses were saying: This is Rin. I remember this taste.

He drew at the soft skin there and heard her moan. There it was. The sound he hadn't heard in so long. The sound that meant he was giving her what she really needed: just a little love. And suddenly, there lips were together, and everything felt so sweet, and so, so _right_. The kiss deepened, and he felt one hand crawling up his chest. He felt another hand sliding through his hair; just the way he liked. He groaned into her mouth and she shivered. The red haze washed over him.

_This isn't Rin, this isn't Rin_ a little part of his mind kept screaming.

_But how could doing this with anyone but her feel so right?_ He asked. No response. He pulled back, and took her earlobe between his teeth. A little yelp of pleasure escaped from her lips as he did so. To his surprise, Isuzu suddenly took control, pushing him back against the wall, taking his occupation; tracing the lines of his ear with her tongue.

"Haru…" she whispered roughly, her voice low and filled with desire. "I think I'm in love with you."

End of Chapter 11:

White Static

A/n: Muah ha ha. Hentai!! doesn't every body love Hentai?

Haru: Oh yah. 'Bout time I get some action!

Rin: smacks Haru what about me!!

Haru: Ow…it is you!

Rin: No, it's Isuzu!

Me: He's got a point, you know.

Rin: Fine, I'll just go sulk while you and your little goody-two shoes girlfriend get it on

Me: u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	15. Chapter 12: When Love Wasn't So Hard

Chapter 12: When Love Wasn't So Hard

Chapter 12: **When Love Wasn't So Hard **

_"Don't say yes,_

_But __**please**__ don't say no_

_Cause I just don't want to be alone tonight"_

-**Don't Want to Be Alone Tonight** By: _James Taylor_

_I think that was the moment it all started. The moment when I finally came to terms with it and told him. I came out and said:_

"Haru…I think I'm in love you."

It all happened so fast. Before she knew it, Haru had taken control back and she had ended up spun with her back roughly shoved against the wall; pinned beneath Haru. He was so warm. More so than she would have thought. She felt his hands running along her sides; exploring. She couldn't breathe. She—herself; Isuzu—had never felt any of this before. But Haru seemed to know exactly how to handle everything.

The only sound in the room was his husky breathing, and her quick gasps. So swept away in the things Haru was making her feel, she boldly curved to push her hips against his. She felt like something was taking control of her body…or someone…someone who had done this before. She abruptly jumped sideways, sliding along the wall out of Haru's grasp.

They both stood there, panting for a minute.

"Isuzu, I…" Haru trailed off. She couldn't blame him for not knowing what to say. Her hair fell around her in dark curtains, frizzy from the friction against the wall it had just experienced.

"What happened?" She whispered.

"I…" Haru tried. "I don't know what happened. I-I'm sorry. That was out of line. I shouldn't have been pressuring you into something, I—" She put a finger to his lips.

"I—It wasn't you're fault," she said, "I liked it. It felt really good. But…I was just scared, that was all." The excuse hung in the air between them for a moment.

"Scared of what?" Haru asked.

"That Rin would come back if I did anything with you." Haru's eyes widened.

"Wha—?"

"Haru, I…the truth is…" this was going to be hard, "I know you loved Rin very much, and that you want her to come back, but…these past months I've spent with you have let me get to know you. And I think I can understand why Rin loved you so much. And I'm just so scared of having her come back, because then—" she sniffed, her voice caught in her throat, "I'm afraid that I'll lose you."

"Oh, Isuzu," he said, wrapping his arms loosely around her. "I don't want you to leave either, but who knows what will happen when Rin comes back. I—I love her. But I guess…in a way…" she held her breath. Was he going to say he loved her? "I really don't know…"

"It's okay," she said, untangling herself from his arms, trying to blink back the tears. "I'm not Rin. I'm just the shell that carries Rin until you can coax her out again."  
_I don't mean anything to him…_

"That is not true," Haru's voice had an edge in it that scared her. "You don't get it. I've lived without Rin before. It was torture; it was hell, but she was still there, so I lived. But now she's out of my reach. And there you are, every day. You remind me of Rin so much, but there are things about you that have nothing to do with Rin."

"I don't get it, Haru," she said, glancing at him. His eyes were dark. Uh-oh. He'd warned her about this. Black Haru.

"You say you're so confused about not existing until eight months ago but how do you think I feel?" She'd never thought about that. "I loved Rin, and now she's gone. But the only person who has the chance of getting her back is _you_. She's inside your head, Isuzu. But if she comes out, you'll disappear, and when I think about that…" Haru grabbed his head like he was in physical pain.

"Haru…" she whispered, reaching out a hand to stroke his face; to calm him.

"Don't touch me, Isuzu!" He shouted, and she jumped back, startled.

"Its okay, Haru."  
"I don't want to hurt you," he growled through clenched teeth.

"Haru…I…you don't get it!" She exclaimed. "I understand that I can never compare to what Rin was to you. I get that!" Tears stung her eyes.

Haru quickly closed the space and kissed her with a rough urgency. His hand tangled in her hair to keep her mouth placed firmly on his own. After what seemed like hours they broke away, and Isuzu could see Black Haru fading from his eyes.

"Isuzu…" he whispered, stroking her cheek with the back of his hand. She leaned into the touch, closing her eyes, an expression of pain and hopelessness clear on her face. "I think I'm in love with you too."

"_Before we lost hope_

_When we still touched_

_And love wasn't so hard_

_Be still_

_I already know"_

-**Be Still**

_By: Kelly Clarkson_

_I think that was the moment it all started. The moment when I finally came to terms with it and told her. I came out and said:_

"Isuzu… I think I'm in love with you too."

It took them both by surprise, at first, but the recovery seemed almost too easy. Haru leaned forward his lips pressing roughly over hers as he pinned her to the wall. Isuzu gasped as he pulled away tracing down her throat. His tongue tracing circles on her skin.

Isuzu gasped. Nothing could compare to this…to what she felt inside. The burning passion that was boiling in her stomach. Haru's hands crawled slowly down her stomach, giving her time to pull back if she changed her mind. Isuzu, on the other hand, had no intentions of changing her mind.

Haru's hands traced around her hips and up her spine stopping as they reached the clasp of her bra. Slowly he pulled each clasp apart and yanked the bra free from her skin. Isuzu arched up as Haru's mouth trailed gently over her breast, and then his teeth bit down roughly on her skin.

Isuzu's fingers threaded into his hair pulling him closer to her, urging him to take as much of her as he could. He obeyed the silent demand, opening his mouth further and skimming his tongue over her burning skin. Isuzu gasped, her knees growing weak. Haru felt her trembling beneath him and wrapped an arm securely around her waist to hold her up.

"I-I can't stand up…much longer," Isuzu gasped. Haru chuckled. Sweeping her up in his arms, he carried her over to the bed dropping her onto the mattress. He ripped at the shorts she was wearing. He pulled them over her hips and let them fall to the floor.

"Haru…" she gasped, trying to form a complete sentence, "what are we doing—?"

"Shh," he shushed, placing a long finger over her lips, "does it need to have a definition?" Isuzu's mouth opened to reply but Haru placed his lips over hers, quieting the statement. Isuzu melted easily into his lips, forgetting what it was she had wanted to say. Slowly Haru kissed the tip of her chin then moved down her chest.

The open mouth kisses causing goosebumps to rise on Isuzu's skin. With another impatient tug he pulled her underwear free and tossed them across the room. His fingers traced over her heated skin. Isuzu shuddered involuntarily, as his mouth clamped over her, his tongue rolling across and then entering her.

Her moan came out in a struggled scream. Haru smiled, pulling back slightly and breathing against her skin. He pulled back up straddling her waist. He stared down at her, her black eyes foggy and unfocused. He slowed down some, afraid of breaking her, entering her as gently as he could manage.

Isuzu instinctively reared up against him. As he moved faster Isuzu's eyes shut tightly. Haru pressed his weight against her.

"Look at me…Dammit, Isuzu, I said look at me," Haru growled. Isuzu trembled, her eyes slowly opening, and locking with his. He thrust into her harder, moaning her name as he did so. With a great deal of effort Isuzu kept her eyes locked with his. Pleasure and just a hint of fear showing behind the fog filling her eyes.

He felt her clamp tightly around him as she reached her peak, simultaneously with him. Haru fell on her with a soft cry as he released. He could hear Isuzu's heart thudding loudly in her chest. Her breaths coming in rapid gasps when they came at all as Haru now lay beside her.

They lay in silence for a moment as thoughts pushed through the lazy fog over their minds. Haru looked over at her and smiled at the expression on her face.

"Haru—" she started.

"Shh," he hushed, "Don't talk. No words right now, okay? Just me and you." Isuzu looked like she was about the cry.

"It's just I'm so confused and everything is so complicated, and so mixed up."

"I know, I know," he comforted, stroking her hair, "but we'll leave the thinking until tomorrow, okay." Her eyes looked so scared. "Do whatever makes you feel good right now," he whispered, "and beat yourself up for it tomorrow." Isuzu kissed him unexpectedly, her lips moving softly against his. It was a sweet, almost innocent kiss.

"There," she murmured, laying her head down against his shoulder. Haru slid an arm around her as if he could protect her from the world.

"Now go to sleep, lovely girl," he whispered, kissing her forehead softly, only to find she already had.

End of Chapter 12:

When Love Wasn't So Hard

A/n: Yay! I finished my Hentai scene! Actually, my friend Bri helped me out with it. She's really good at writing those things, so she gets the credit for this chapter…or the second half scene.

Haru: sigh man was that fun

Rin: glaring daggers

Haru: Oh, leave me alone, Rin

Rin: F you

Haru: You already did!

Me: sigh

Me: u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	16. Chapter 13: It's Starting to Blur

Chapter 12: When Love Wasn't So Hard

Chapter 13: **It's Starting to Blur**

"_And sometimes I feel like I'm going to scream_

_If I don't soon wake up from this horrible dream"_

-**Breaking Free**

_By: Natilie Sawada_

She woke up screaming, the pain searing through her head. It was like someone was trying to claw their way out of her head; straight through her brain. She could faintly hear Haru's voice, and distantly feel his arms around her, but everything was overshadowed by the scorching pain in her skull. She screamed as if she could make it go away; force it out with the sound of her voice. But the pain continued. She couldn't see anything. Her eyes were filled with blinding darkness.

"HARU!" She screamed. Isuzu could feel hot tears streaming down her cheeks. "HELP ME!"

"Isuzu, Isuzu…Shh…it's all going to be okay…shh." His voice was muffled and distant; like someone was talking to her through a piece of wool. She felt arms tighten around her. "I'm going to call Hatori, okay. He's going to figure out what's wrong. It's going to be all right. Just hold on."

"It hurts so much!" She shrieked.

"I know, love, I know. Just hold on, okay. Hatori? You need to get down here. Something's wrong with Isuzu. Please. Yah, that's her screaming. Please, Hatori, please. Yah, okay. Get here as fast as you can."

"Haru!" She whimpered.

"Hatori's on his way, it'll be all right."

"Haru, please…don't leave me alone."

"Don't worry, love," he whispered soothingly, wrapping his arms around her, "I'll be right next to you."

She still couldn't stop screaming. The pain wouldn't stop. It just kept chipping away at the inside of her skull, oblivious to the nerves it was hammering. It felt like hours until Hatori burst through the door, but it could have just been a matter of minutes.

"Isuzu!" She heard Hatori exclaim as he entered the bedroom.

"Look what you did, you son of a bitch. It's all your fault she's like this."

"Haru, please!" Isuzu begged.

"Okay. I'm sorry, shh," she felt cool fingers at her lips and forehead.

"What happened?" She heard Hatori ask.

"She woke up screaming today. She said it really hurt. Something's going wrong."

"Did anything happen that might have triggered it?" Hatori inquired. Haru was silent while Isuzu bit her lip so hard that she could taste the copper of her blood in her mouth.

"We slept together," Haru finally admitted softly.

"That would do it," Hatori confirmed.

"Tori-nii, what's wrong with me!" Isuzu shrieked, her voice edging up a few octaves.

"I don't know yet. I think whatever is left of Rin inside you reacted when you slept with Haru. She's trying to desperately claw her way out before the pathway seals itself up."

"I don't care how you do it," she screamed, "just **make it stop**!!"

"We need to get her to a hospital where I can take care of her properly," Hatori said.

"Tori-nii," Isuzu cried, "can't you knock me out or something? Please!"

"Let me see," Hatori muttered. She heard him open her doctor's bag and rummage through it. "This may sting a bit, but at least you'll be out until we can get you to the hospital and under a morphine drip." She felt a faint stabbing pain in her arm.

"Haru…" she started, as the pain started to dull; her mind starting to slow.

"I know," he whispered, his lips moving at her ear, "I'll be right here."

"Thanksss," she whispered lazily as the pain receded and she drifted into oblivion.

_She opened her eyes slowly. A world of black swirled around her. _

_"Haru?" She whispered._

_Silence echoed. The black void she was in writhed as if made of snakes, but was perfectly still at the same time._

_"Haru?" She called. Where was she? Wasn't she supposed to be with Hatori? The searing pain in her head was numb now…but a hollow emptiness replaced it. It was as if the fissure she was in was a manifestation of the gap in her soul. It ached._

_"Haru!" She cried out, desperate to reach him. He had to be here somewhere. Her feet stumbled over themselves as she ran. She didn't know where she was going, but she had to go. She had to find him. _

_It seemed like she ran forever…the dark void stretching farther and farther. She stopped to catch her breath, collapsing to her knees._

Where are you, Haru?_ She wondered. She drug herself to her feet, determined to go on. _

_"Haru!!" She screamed into the darkness. This time, a faint whispering returned to her. Unintelligible, barely audible whispering. It was coming from no where…yet everywhere at once. She looked around, turning in a circle, trying to locate the source. "HARU!"_

"_He's not here, girlie." A harsh voice spat. The whispering ceased. Silence enveloped the space as she wheeled around. Iron bands were binding her to an invisible wall behind her; arms raised above her head. Dark eyes blinked back at her; as dark as the surroundings._

_"Are you…are you…" The whispered words echoed in the still darkness for a moment. Then her liquid eyes flashed._

_"Yah…I'm Rin."_

_"and keep your eyes on her  
keep don't look away  
keep your eyes on her horizon  
on her eyes  
on her horizon"_

-**Carbon**

_By: Tori Amos_

Haru paced nervously back and forth beside Isuzu's cot.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

The heart monitor kept a steady stream to assure him she was still alive.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

"Shouldn't she have woken up by now?" Haru asked edgily.

"It depends. Sometimes after someone's out, the drug has worn off, and the body says it's awake, but the mind doesn't want to wake up."

"So she doesn't want to wake up…?" Haru wondered.

"I think the pain scared her. Rin trying to claw her way out so suddenly…that's bound to leave it's mark. I suppose subconsciously, she's just scared to go through that again." Hatori's calm voice irritated him. How could he stand there and talk about all this as if it was scientific data…and not Rin's life…not Isuzu's life.

Haru couldn't think straight. Who was it he wanted? Rin had left him…but he still loved her. Oh, God, oh, God how he loved her. But Isuzu…she was so eager and cheerful…and loved him. And eight months with her had made him fall in love with her too.

In the end, he could only have one. Rin…the one he'd grown up with, had endured the torture of the curse with, loved and lost, but just couldn't let go. Isuzu…the one who'd needed him, who he helped, who was everything Rin could never be.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

Who could he live with…

Who could he live without…

And most of all…after it was all said and done…

Could he live with himself?

Beep…Beep…Beep…

Haru stopped at her bedside, brushing a stray hair from her still face. He stroked her cheek with the back of his hand.

"You really have no idea how beautiful you are…" he whispered, leaning in to press his lips softly to her forehead.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep

Haru gasped.

"She still there," Hatori's calm voice informed him, "It shows she's aware of what happens here, even if on a subconscious level."

"_She's still there…"_

_Who's there?_

Beep…Beep…Beep.

"Hatori?" He asked softly, his eyes still locked on Rin's face.

"Yes?" The unruffled voice answered.

"Did you ever think of trying to bring Kana back?"

"Yes," the answer was immediate, but his voice still stone smooth. Haru twitched. "But I never did anything but think. I knew it was better to let her go."

_"__Am I just supposed to let her go?!"  
"If you really love her…"_

"Even though it caused you pain?"

"Rather I hurt than her." He answered.

"But didn't you miss her?" Haru asked, brushing his fingertips across her lips.

"Immensely. If felt as if there was a hole inside of me."

"Yah." Haru said, feeling hot moisture form in his eyes.

"But I held on to the fact that someday she would be happy…even if I could never be."

"Hatori…" Haru whispered.

"Yes?"

"I've been so selfish." Haru felt a hand on his shoulder as he blinked fiercely, trying to erase the liquid pain falling down his cheeks.

"It's always hard to lose someone you love."

"But I tried to get her back. She was so broken, Hatori. So broken…"

"You were in pain." Hatori reasoned

"But so was she. I should have let her go. But now I think I'm falling for Isuzu…but I'm not ready to let Rin go. Just the thought that she's still in there somewhere…"

"Haru…"

"Could I be alone with her? Please?" He wiped his eyes in vain, trying to erase them.

"Of course," Hatori said softly, turning and heading for the door.

It clicked shut almost silently.

"Don't leave me…" Haru whispered, not knowing who he was whispering to, stroking her soft eyelashes. "I can't live without you."

_"Will you kiss me?"  
"Shh…no words now…just you and me."_

_"You have a strange logic, Haru,"_

_ "I'm afraid that I'll lose you!"_

_"You don't have to __**say**__ it, Haru"_

_ "Haru…I think I'm in love with you."_

"I promise," he whispered to the beautiful black haired girl in the hospital bed, "I love you."

End of Chapter 13:

It's Starting to Blur

A/n: Awwww! I wrote this listening to a piano solo…it's the end credit song to a 3 part anime called: "5 Centimeters Per Second" Anyone who loves a sad romance: SEE IT! I made me cry (and I normally don't cry during movies). And if you can get a hold of the end credit music, listen to it and read Haru's half of the chapter while listening to it. I almost cried writing it TT

Haru: hopeless romantic

Rin: yay I got to talk!!

Me: u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	17. Chapter 14: Losing You

Chapter 14: And Then the Night Fell

Chapter 14: **Losing You**

_"But do I hate what she is_

_or do I want to be her__**"**_

-**Cooling**

_By: Tori Amos_

"_Yah, I'm Rin."_

_Darkness churned behind her eyes…a liquid pool of dark emotions and secrets never meant to be told._

_"Am I dreaming?"_

_"You tell me," she said, attempting to flip her thigh length hair behind her shoulders, "It's your mind now. I'm just stuck here." Pain flickered behind her tough words. _

"_I'm so sorry!" Isuzu cried, flinging her arms around Rin's thin frame. _

"_Stop hugging me!" Rin exclaimed, but Isuzu held on. She looked up into that mirror image. It was so strange to look at yourself…to look at how you might have turned out._

_"Rin…Haru still loves you, you know."_

_"I know that."_

_"Why did you hurt him so badly then?" The words hung in the hair between them. The echoed off the nonexistent walls._

_"Because he's better off without me." The words were soft, barely audible_

"_Rin, you don't understand—"_

"_Yes I do. I __**know**__ I hurt him. I hurt him and it hurt me. It almost hurt too much to do it. But I loved him more than anything in this world…and that gave me the strength to let him live without me."_

"_He doesn't want to let you go." Isuzu whispered. She gasped as she felt a tear drop from Rin's cheek to her arm, which was still wrapped around her neck._

"_It's hard…to find someone you love, and who loves you back too. It's hard to leave that all behind. But it's easier now that you're here. At first I hated you, Isuzu. You were everything I wished I could have been…especially for Haru. But now I see you're everything he needs."_

"_But he's still in love with you, Rin! He always will be! Forever."_

"_Forever is a long time to love someone," she whispered, "someday he will forget me, the way I forgot him, and became you. I will fade in his memory. Some part of him may love me, but he has you now."_

"_It's all my fault," Isuzu cried, feeling hot tears pouring down her cheeks, mirroring Rin's, "I'm so sorry…I'm so, so sorry." _

"_No," the calm disagreement made her look back up. "It's my fault I let Haru go in the first place. It's my fault I went to see Akito. It's my fault I didn't just run. But there's nothing I can do now." She smiled a sad smile, tears pouring down her cheeks._

"_Can I…is there a way…?" Isuzu fought for the words. She wanted to end the aching pain behind this girl's eyes. _

_"Not without you taking my place." _

_No…she didn't want to be stuck in this dark world all alone without Haru…Haru._

_"I don't want to leave him."_

_"I don't think you'll have to."_

"_In the corners of my childhood memories_

_There is a warm place, _

_So Sweet_

_Where the stars talk of a future_

_That will always sparkle, _

_So Shine__**"**_

-**Every Heart**

_Lyrics By: Natsumi Watanabe_

He could barely remember it.

Barely remember a time back when there was no pain. When there was no tension; no expectations; no fear.

He could barely remember it. But it was there.

New Years Eve was only a highlight in his life because he would sneak off to Rin's room after the dancing. Rin was seven, and he was five. Midnight was a long time to stay up for children their age. They were slowly walking their pieces through a game of Chutes and Ladders.

"I—" Rin yawned in the middle of her sentence, "I'm still winning, Haru."

"Well you're two years older, so I should get extra points!" He squeaked, grabbing a hold of his piece and moving it ahead three spaces.

"That's against the rules!" Rin shouted.

"Is not!" Haru argued.

"Is to!"

"Fine, just for arguing with me, I get two more," he retorted and scooted his player ahead two extra spaces.

"You're a cheater, Haru," Rin said with a smile.

"Am not," he bickered.

"Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater."  
"Ew. Have you ever eaten pumpkin?" Haru asked.

"No," Rin said.

"Neither have I. So you can't say I'm a pumpkin eater if I've never even tried it." Rin yawned again instead of answering. Haru yawned too.

"Is it really that late?" Rin asked. Haru shrugged and yawned again.

"I got up early so I've been up for a while."

"Me too."

"But I don't want to go to sleep yet," Haru said.

"Me neither," Rin agreed, and got up, turned off the light, and then walked over to the bed, plopping herself down.

"I'm just going to lie down though." Haru smiled.

"Sure."

"I am," Rin said indignantly as Haru crossed the room and joined her, swinging his feet over the edge. Rin sighed, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you came over today. It's fun to play with you."

"Yah, it's boring when my parents make me stay home all alone." Haru watched her eyes drift shut slowly in the darkness. And before he knew it, she was out like a light, her head resting on her shoulder, snoring softly.

He just sat there for a while, not sure what to do.

"Rin?" He whispered, shaking her lightly. She didn't budge. He sighed, and looked up at the window. The moonlight streaming through it made her skin glow. "You know," he said to the sleeping Rin, "you're pretty cute for a girl." He felt a sudden urge to hug her. So Haru wrapped his arms around her, and rested his head on top of hers. "I wish we could stay like this forever, Rin."

Before he knew it, the room was filled with darkness. Haru hadn't noticed the night falling. He sighed, and crossed the room. He kneeled down beside her cot, stroking her midnight black hair.

"I wish we could've stayed like that forever, Rin," Haru whispered, laying his head on her shoulder as he closed his eyes. "But forever is a long time to love."

End of Chapter 14:

Losing You

A/n: I believe I am in the final stretch…or at least the beginning for the final stretch.

Haru: OMG this is too depressing

Me: Shut up! It's a drama story, duh it's going to be depressing!

Rin: yay I got to talk!

Me: niiiiice

Rin: Well I haven't been able to talk since like chapter 4 or 5!

Me: except for in here

Rin: Well that doesn't count

Me: w/e

Rin -- why I auta'

Me: u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	18. Chapter 15: Death of a Shadow

Chapter 15: Death of a Shadow

Chapter 15: **Death of a Shadow**

"_We went the long way, didn't we?_

_We got hurt, didn't we?"_

-**Dearest**

_Inuyasha Ending Theme #3_

"_I don't want to leave him."_

"_I don't think you'll have to."_

"_What do you mean?" Isuzu asked. Rin's mouth twitched into a watery smile._

"_I left him for a reason, Isuzu."_

"_You can't force him to forget about you! You can't force him to choose me! It's not fair. Haru loves you, Rin."_

"_I thought we already went over this. He's better off without me." _

"_But—"_

"_No buts," Rin cut her off._

"_You can't force him to choose me!" Rin's eyes flickered with pain. _

"_He already has, Isuzu. He's in love with you now." The words echoed in the darkness. "And I have to let him go." The iron bands holding her up dissolved and Rin collapsed onto her knees. _

"_Rin!" _

"_I'm okay." She struggled to her feet, but fell into Isuzu's arms, who hugged her tightly._

"_I know how much this hurts," she whispered into Rin's ear._

"_It does hurt," Rin whimpered. "So much I might not survive it. But as long as Haru is happy, I can be."_

"_You are so strong, Rin. You are so kind and beautiful." Rin blinked rapidly, the tears catching in her long eyelashes. _

"_Thank you." Rin coughed, and blood seeped onto her lips._

"_Rin!"_

"_It's okay. It's okay for it to end with nothing left in my hands." She coughed again and blood spurted away into the darkness. Rin slid down onto her knees, Isuzu following._

"_No! No, you can't go like this!"_

"_I'm fading from your mind, Isuzu. It's the way it should be."_

"_But, Haru—!" Rin put a finger to Isuzu's lips._

"_He'll be okay. He's a strong person. Always has been." More blood was coming every time she coughed. And her hands were shaking badly. _

"_Rin…Rin!" Isuzu cried helplessly._

"_No, shh, it's okay." _

"_But there's so much I don't know. It can't end like this!"_

"_But it is. Everything will be fine," Rin assure, voice shaking._

"_Not for you," Isuzu argued._

"_Yes. I will be all right…knowing Haru is with you. Be strong for me. Be strong for Haru."_

_"I—I will." Isuzu promised shakily, tears pouring down her cheeks._

_"Do you promise? Do you promise to try and make him happy?" The concern shining in her tear clouded eyes made fresh tears spring to her own. _

_"Of course," she whispered. "I will love Haru until the day I die."_

_"Thank you. So much." She coughed…there was so much blood. "Tell him goodbye for me…please."_

_"Yes, yes of course."_

_"And—" she coughed again, "tell him…Tell him I love him."_

_"Yes," Isuzu choked, tears streaming down her cheeks._

_"Haru," Rin titled her head upwards, "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. Please forgive me…and please be happy. I love you, Haru…"_

_"Rin—!"_

_"Goodbye…"_

"_You said: "I know that this will hurt_

_But if I don't break your heart, then things will just get worse"_

_If the burden seems too much to bear_

_Remember: the end will justify the pain it took to get us there"_

-**Let It All Out**

_By: Relient K_

Beep…Beep…Beep…

Haru woke with a start. Nothing in particular had woken him, but he had suddenly lost his grip on sleep. The room was dark, and moonlight streamed through the window. Haru raised his head from her shoulder where he had laid it. He brushed his fingertips across her closed eyelids, willing them to open.

"Come back to me, lovely girl," he whispered. "I can't breathe without you."

"Mmm…" the noise was so soft he'd thought he'd imagined it at first.

Beep…Beep…Beep…

_Probably just my imagination. I'm missing her so much,_

"Haru…Haru…"

"Isuzu? Rin?" Haru exclaimed, not knowing who he was hoping would wake up.

"Oh, Haru…I'm so sorry…" She was…sleep talking? "So sorry…" it sounded like Rin. Rin's voice so layered with agony and hopelessness. "I'm so sorry for everything that happened. Please forgive me…and please be happy. I love you, Haru."

"Rin? Rin!" He shouted. "No! Please don't slip away from me again! _Please!_ I need you, honey, I need you…" Tear spilled down his face. Her eyes fluttered once and then closed again.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…

"Rin! No…no, Rin, please…I still…I still love you. And it hurts. Please don't. I don't want to lose you again.

Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep…

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"NO!!" Haru yelled. "No, Rin!" He took a hold of her shoulders, and shook them roughly. "Rin, honey, please wake up, please." He pressed his mouth to her, forcing her lips apart and breathing into her mouth. "Breathe for me, Rin, please." He pressed hard again and again and again on her chest. Breathe, press, breathe, press.

It seemed like eternity before…

Beep…Beep…Beep…

Haru exhaled loudly.

"Oh, thank God!" He put his arms around her neck, hugging her tightly. "Thank God…" teas of relief spilled over.

_"I wish we could stay like this forever…"_

_"But forever is a long time to love…"_

"I love you so much…" Haru whispered, his hands tangling her hair, his lips brushing over her eyelids.

_"The Rin you knew is gone…"_

"Mmm…Haru?" He barely caught the soft words.

"Rin, honey?" he barely dared to whisper. Her eyes fluttered open, and then closed again. But then they opened halfway, a lazy confused looked.

"Haru…" her eyes were liquid black, tired, sad. But…who was looking back out of them?

"Oh my God, don't scare me like that!" He exclaimed, squeezing her in his arms.

"Haru, I—"

"Oh, Rin, I thought I lost you. Don't ever do that again!"

"But…Haru, I'm Isuzu." He pulled back, eyes wide. "I—I'm sorry it's not Rin looking out at you. I'm so sorry. She was too broken. I tried to convince her—"

"Wait a minute," he cut her off, "you talked to her."

"Yes," she said softly. "She was in my head the entire time."

"What did she say?" Isuzu blinked back tears.

"She said she's sorry she hurt you. She thought you were better off without her. She said she still loved you, but wanted you to be happy." Haru's eyebrows creased, his expression so hurt and lost.

"I _was_ happy! I was happy, Rin!" He was talking to no one, looking around at the ceiling. "You were everything I needed! You were my world! When you said you didn't love me, my world shattered into a million pieces. I was happy with you…I loved you…" Isuzu's hand wiped the tears from his cheeks.

"She said she wants you to be happy. She wants you to try and move on."

"What?" his eyes widened. "But I could still bring her back." Isuzu's eyes saddened further.

"She knew you were in love with me now. She said that she thinks you're better of with me."

"But—But—she's still in there somewhere." Haru spluttered.

"She said to tell you she loves you, Haru. And—And to tell you goodbye."

"No…No…Rin…" The words barely escaped Haru's mouth.

"I'm so sorry, Haru" Isuzu whispered, hugging him tightly, whispering into her ear. "Rin's not coming back."

End of Chapter 15:

Death of a Shadow

A/n: sniff sniff TT I'm sorry to do that to all you Rin fans (I'm a huge one myself), but as the writer, I felt it had to be done

Haru: sigh now I finally have her off my back!

Rin: son of a…smack

Haru: Ow!

Rin: You deserve it

Haru: shrug yah I guess…

Rin --

Me: u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!

**END OF PART 3: ****FOREVER IS A LONG TIME TO LOVE**

**PART FOUR WILL PROBABLY JUST BE AN EPILOGUE OF ONE OR TWO CHAPTERS, BUT THEY WILL BE CRUCIAL TO THE PLOT LINE! PLEASE TUNE IN FOR THAT!  
BYE!**


	19. Part 4: And Then the Night Fell: Opening

PART FOUR:

**PART FOUR:**

**And Then the Night Fell**

OPENING NOTES- Part Four:

Hi! This part is the last (it's official! I've made up my mind!). It'll probably only have like one or two chapters, since this is sort of the epilogue thing. But I hope you enjoy it all the same. I had so much fun working on this. _**AND PLEASE DON'T FORGET TO REVIEW!! PLEASE!**_

All right, have fun reading the last and final part of this story!

**P.S.** I had to do three songs again

Song 1: WE ARE BROKEN

By: _Paramore_

Song 2: ONE MORE MILE TO JERICHO

By: _Hillary Duff_

Song 3: WHERE DO WE GO FROM HERE?

From: _Buffy the Vampire Slayer_

"_I am outside and I've been waiting for the sun_

_And with my wide eyes, I've seen worlds that don't belong_

_My mouth is dry with words I cannot verbalize _

_Tell me why we live like this_

_PRE-CHORUS:_

_Keep me safe inside_

_Your arms like towers_

_Tower over me_

_Yah_

_CHORUS:_

_Cause we are broken_

_What must we do to restore_

_Our innocence_

_And all the promise we adored_

_Give us life again_

_Cause we just wanna be whole_

_Lock the doors, cause I'd like to capture this voice_

_It came to me tonight so everyone will have a choice_

_And under red lights I'll show myself it wasn't forged_

_Remind her we live like this_

_PRE-CHORUS_

_CHORUS_

_Tower over me_

_Tower over me_

_And I'll take the truth in any cause_

_CHORUS_

**-****We Are Broken**_ By: Paramore_

"_On the fast train out of town_

_Down-side-up is upside-down_

_Going fast is going slow_

_What could've been we'll never know_

_In this place that has no name_

_Can't remember why I came_

_Then I hear you whisper low:_

"_One more mile to Jericho"_

_Nothing is ever what it seems_

_When you live inside your dreams_

_CHORUS:_

_The walls will tumble, the walls will tumble_

_But I'm not gonna cry_

_My heart won't crumble, my heart won't crumble_

_If we ever say goodbye_

_Everybody gets the joke_

_Where's the fire? Where's the smoke?_

_Money, love and jealousy_

_Something's got a hold of me_

_But I will follow where you go_

_One more mile to Jericho_

_CHORUS_

_Goodbye now_

_Goodbye…_

_One more mile, one more kiss,_

_One more word, one more wish_

_And that will save us this I know _

_From this place called Jericho_

_softCHORUS_

_normalCHORUS _

_If we ever say:_

_Goodbye x3_

_Goodbye… x2"_

**-****One More Mile to Jericho**_ By: Hillary Duff_

"_Where do we go from here?_

_Where do we go from here?_

_The battle's done_

_And we kind of won_

_So we sound our victory cheers_

_Where do we go from here?  
_

_Why is the path unclear?_

_When we know home is near  
Understand,_

_We'll go hand in hand_

_But we'll walk alone in fear_

_(Tell me)_

_Where do we go from here?_

_When does the end appear?_

_When do the trumpets cheer?_

_The curtains close_

_On a kiss, God knows_

_We can tell the end is near_

_Where do we go from here?"_

**-****Where Do We Go From Here?**_ From: Buffy the Vampire Slayer_


	20. Chapter 16: Fade Into Nothing

Chapter 16: Fade Into Nothing

Chapter 16: **Fade Into Nothing**

"_On the outside looking in_

_I can see the pain your in_

_Don't hold it in_

_I know you loved her; so did I_

_You don't have to hide the tears you cry_

_Cause I'm here for you_

_Don't hold it in_

_I can see the pain your in_

_On the outside looking in"_

-_**Natilie Sawada**_

Dear Journal,

It has been three months since Rin disappeared. We got back from the hospital, and I went to fix up my room, since the drywall crashed in. Haru went into his room and blasted music. But I could still hear him yelling. He was deranged. I could hear him through the walls and the music crying and screaming her name. But there was nothing I could do. He broke down.

Haru didn't come out of his room for a week. I kept leaving food at his door and I would come by to pick up the dishes. I know it sounds pathetic, but being able to even keep living after everything that Haru has been through is remarkable. I kept my distance from him for a while. I think he needed time before he could be with me again. For about three days he couldn't even look at me. He flinched whenever he did. I could tell it was unbearably painful for him to look at me…to look at what used to be Rin. He needed time to let her fade.

I cried a little too. For everything. For the life I was thrust into…for the life I ruined when I was created…for all the pain I caused Rin…for all the pain I caused Haru…for almost losing him…for him having to lose Rin again, only after knowing she'd loved him all along. I cried for all the things that could have been, and all the things that will never be.

I gave all of Rin's possessions to Haru. I bought an entirely new wardrobe. I figured he wanted the least amount of things that I owned to remind him of Rin. I was in the attic and I found the box he put them all in. There were tear stains all over the papers and box. The clothes smelled like Haru and Rin. Finally I closed the box and taped it shut. There were no labels on it. Just a plain cardboard box sealed with masking tape. I never spoke to Haru about the box.

Now that three months have passed, Haru is beginning to return to normal, but I can see he is far from healed. I try to do as much as I can. We had lots of make up work from our classes from when I was in the hospital (I was in for a total of two days), so that kept him busy, and hopefully his mind off the pain.

We rarely ever speak of Rin. Sometimes when we're walking down the street, or looking in a magazine together, we'll see an outfit and Haru will say: "Rin would've like that," or "Rin would've laughed at her and called her a poser." He laughs, but I can see the aching hole in the center of his chest through his eyes.

The first time he kissed me since it happened, he broke down and cried. I just held him while he sobbed her name. But he's been able to touch me more and more without it hurting so much. He's making an effort to give me attention even though he's in so much pain.

I told him I was going to cut my hair, but he told me not to. He didn't say why, just grabbed a lock and started brushing it across his cheek. I can tell why. He doesn't want Rin to fade away completely. No matter how much it may hurt, he doesn't want to lose those memories he has of her. He doesn't want her to fade into nothing. He doesn't want to lose her again.

And I feel like I'm going to cry.

-Isuzu

"_And soon enough soon enough  
This will all be a memory  
And soon enough soon enough  
This will fade like the photograph  
Of you and me"_

-**Human Remains**

_By: Tom McRae_

Dear Journal,

It has been three months since Rin disappeared. I decided to keep a journal because…well it just felt like the right thing to do.

I'm in so much pain. Every time I blink, she's there. I just miss her so much. For the first week I could leave my room, and I could stop crying. The hurting wouldn't stop. After that, for a couple of days, I couldn't bring myself to look at Isuzu. Every time I saw her, the wound ached. I couldn't stand it.

One day I found all of Rin's possessions (including clothing) at my door. I later found Isuzu had bought an entirely new wardrobe. I put all the things in the box, going through every item, reading every page of every journal and sketchbook. Then I put it in the attic and shut the door. I think Isuzu found it, because I went up to check on it, and someone taped it shut.

We don't talk about Rin much, but sometimes we see a girl whose wearing something Rin would like, or would think was ridiculous. And it will hurt like hell, and I want to shut myself up in my room and scream. But I stay strong for Isuzu because I love her. I know this is hard for her…seeing me mourn over another girl. But I think she understands the pain I'm in. She's helped me so much. I don't think I would have been able to have kept on living without her here.

I spend a lot of time thinking. The make up work we had to do only kept me busy for a while.

It's sad realizing that I'm the only one who has those memories that Rin and I shared. When I die…where will they go? I can't imagine all the memories that are lost when someone dies…or disappears like Rin. What about all the moments you only know about…all the times you spend all alone…and all the secrets you kept to yourself. Where do they all go?

I refuse to let Rin's memory disappear. She may be gone, but she will keep existing like a photograph in my mind; never changing; always smiling. But soon enough it will fade around the edges and will start to grow old. But it will always be of her. She will never fade into nothing. I won't let her. Because I don't want to lose her again.

And I feel like I'm going to cry.

-Haru

End of Chapter 16:

Fade Into Nothing

A/n: short little chapter. I decided to do a chapter that was entirely journal entries. As you can see Isuzu writes almost twice as much as Haru does. I've found that guys don't like to write much about detail…but like to focus on thoughts and actions. So that's what Haru does.

Haru: Since when am I girlie enough to write in a journal

Me: Since I said so!

Haru: military salute yes, ma'am!

Rin: smirk sissy

Haru: oh, you wanna go?

Rin: bring it!

Me: --u

(See ya next chapter! )

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!


	21. Chapter 17: At the End of All Things

Chapter 16: Fade Into Nothing

Chapter 17: **At the End of All Things**

_"__Boys, you can break_

_You'll find out how much they can take_

_Boys will be strong_

_And boys soldier on_

_But boys would be gone _

_Without warmth from a woman's good, good heart"_

-**Daughters**

_By: John Meyer_

"Hey, Isuzu?" She turned around to see him walk through the door to her bedroom.

"Oh, hey, Haru." He silently crossed to room to sit on the edge of the bed next to her, sliding his arm around her shoulders. He had deep shadows under his eyes. Tear tracks smudged his face. "What's wrong?"

"It broke." He said softly, his voice breaking in the middle. Isuzu's breath caught in her throat.

"The…" he voice trailed off.

"Everyone's gone. It's over…it's finally…" he took in a shuddering breath, "it's all finally fucking over."

"Oh, Haru…"

"Did you remember anything about how it felt to be cursed?" He asked quietly, not meeting her gaze. His eyes were focused on the soft, dark blue carpet.

"Barely," she whispered back in return.

"Do you remember how it felt to be released?"

"No."

Silence. Arms tightened around her; almost painfully squeezing her. For the first time, he hugged her completely.

"Everyone's gone."  
"I know," she said, running her fingers slowly through the blanket of snow that was his hair…just the way he liked it.

"It hurts," he whispered.

"I know." She started humming. A song from long ago that barely touched her mind.

"What are you humming?" He asked. She didn't respond; only closed her eyes and added words in a silky voice.

"_I was so happy when you smiled, you smile breaks through the clouds of grey. Far from the sunny days that lie in sleep…_" The words flowed from her lip, words she didn't know she knew. "_Waiting with patients for the spring, when the flowers will bloom renewed again. Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today._" She didn't realize it, but his voice had joined her. Cracked and broken; barely above a whisper at first, but then growing in confidence.

"_Although the scars of yesterday remain, we can go on living as much as your heart believes. You can't be born again, although you can change."_ His lips caught hers softly, funneling the pain into a single kiss. When they broke away, she finished the last line softly against his hair.

"_Let's stay together always."_

"That was our song…" Haru whispered softly.

"What?" Isuzu barely dared to speak.

"We never said it, but we both knew it was. It was from…some anime we saw once. But it pretty much captured our lives and our relationship, so we would always find ourselves singing it…" She pressed her lips against his hair.

"She loved you," Isuzu whispered, "I'm sorry." He stared up at her, his eyes full of nothing but loss and pain. Silence. "I love you," she said softly, tightening her arms around him. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say sorry," he said, kissing her softly.

"I love you, I love you, I love you," she whispered hurriedly.

"I love you and it hurts."

"Everything hurts," she replied.

"I love you," he repeated and laid his head back on her shoulder as she began to sing again.

"_Because I'm happy to be with you…here at the end of all things."_

-**The Return of the King**

Haru slept for a while. Everything was flooding through his mind in a dreamlike state. Rin…Rin…

She was everywhere. All the different ages and phases and personalities and moods…all whirling in his head…refusing to be forgotten.

"_Hey, Haru," _Rin said, folding gracefully next to the white haired boy on the carpet. _That must be me,_ Haru thought_._ _I must be having a flashback._

"_Hey, Rin," _He replied, grinning. They were at Shigure's house…before Yuki or Kyo had moved in. They were in the dinning room, sitting in front of the TV.

"_What chya watchin'?"_ She asked, looking at the TV screen.

"_Nothing much,"_ he responded. _"An anime."_

"_Mogeta?"_ She questioned.

"_Nope,"_ he popped the "p" on his lips. _"It starts with an F I think."_

"_Oh, yah!"_ She said, her eyes lighting up, _"I know this one. It's called Fruits Basket. You like it? Hits a little too close to home for my taste." _ Haru shrugged.

"_I like it being close to home. It helps me put things in perspective."_

"_Is that why you're always so insightful all the time?" _Rin asked.

­_"Nah," _Haru said, shaking his head and grinning, _"I just make that stuff up to seem smart."­_

"_Haru!" _Rin smacked him playfully on the shoulder. The TV speakers started to sing the opening song, and they both listened intently to the lyrics.

"_Wow," _Haru said after a minute.

"_I love that song," _Rin said quietly.

"_I love it too, now."_

"_I was so happy when you smiled," _Rin began to sing softly, _"Your smile breaks through the clouds of grey. Far from the sunny days that lie in peace…_

_Waiting with patience for the spring_

_When the flowers will bloom renewed again_

_Knowing there's more beyond the pain of today_

_Although the scars of yesterday_

_Remain_

_We can go on living as much as your heart_

_Believes_

_You can't be born again  
Although you can change_

_Let's stay together always_

Haru opened his eyes slowly, his eyelids feeling like they were made of granite. He was resting his head on someone's shoulder.

"You awake now?" Isuzu's voice whispered softly.

"Unfortunately," Haru croaked. Isuzu stifled a giggled.

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" She asked. "You can if you want."

"I don't think I'll be able to," he told her.

"Okay." They sat in comfortable silence for a moment, both lost in their own thoughts.

"Hey, Isuzu?" Haru asked softly.

"Yah?"  
"Mmm…never mind."

"Okay."

More silence.

"Hey, Isuzu?"

"Yah?"

"Will you sing again?" Haru asked her. Isuzu hugged him tightly—he suspected in attempt to hide the tears he saw now springing to her eyes.

"Of course," her voice was barely a whisper. She cradled his head in between her shoulder and her hand, and softly began to sing.

Haru closed his eyes, listening to Isuzu's voice…pretending, just for one last minute…that it was Rin's.

"_We went the long way, didn't we?_

_We got there in the end."_

-**Dearest**

_Inuyasha Ending Theme #3_

End of Chapter 17:

At the End of All Things

A/n: Last chapter. THE END TT It took me…looking at file dates two months and five or so odd days to finish this. shining for 114 pages on Microsoft Word, not too shabby . Thank you so much for reading this. I worked hard on it, and I'm happy someone could enjoy it (hope it made u cry evil grin)

Haru: What?! That's it?! What kind of an ending was that?

Me: Shut up, Haru!

Rin: Yah, seriously! I kinda died!

Me: Shush both of u…I'll give u another fan fic another time

Rin: glare u'd better…points gun at me get on it!

Me: scared now y-yes ma'am.

(THANK YOU SO MUCH EVERYONE!)

--

Fruits Basket is the creation of Takaya Natsuki, and is licensed in North

America by FUNimation (anime) and Tokyopop (manga). Used without permission or the intention of making a profit. Please support the original work!

End of Part 4:

And Then the Night Fell

End of: Where Your Shadow Falls


End file.
